


God rest those lonely souls

by BloodyFreckles



Series: Lonely Souls Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Mpreg, Oral, bottom!Jensen, top!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 14:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyFreckles/pseuds/BloodyFreckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a best selling author, escaping from his past and Jensen is a young boy, who just got himself in a load of trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As a warning, Jensen is thirteen and then fourteen years old in this fic. Jared is thirty two. So it's underage, well as mpreg. So if they squick you, go ahead and turn around now. This will probably be finished in the next couple weeks. I already have everything planned out.

The sky is a beautiful hue of amber, cornflower blue and deep purple. There's a little sunkissed orange and mellow yellow mixed in together. It looks magnificent. Jensen moves around the forest, snapping pictures with his canon, his lifeline pressed against his chest, as the flash goes off time and time again. He gets lost in the rhythm of the camera, his finger pressing down on the little red button as it clicks. It's a motion in his heart, a song in his head, he sees what's there and he manages to make it blossom into something ethereal and otherworldly. 

He likes photography because he feels like there's a deeper meaning to life than what it is. What people make it out to be. The pessimists who look at the world like all there is is pain, suffering and reality. He's not one of them, he never has been. He's a realist, mixed in with a bit of idealism and optimism. He believes in a different world than most people do, a world that can flex and change at will. A world full of wonder and adventure. He wants to see it, to be it, to swim in it and sink to the bottom where he'll continue to discover more. It's one of his plans when he's old enough to be on his own and he's sure his mother is well off and taken care of. To travel and see everything the earth and it's inhabitants have to offer. 

He moves through the forest, the sides of his knees touching every now and again as he goes for a certain angle. He comes across a plain green frog near the creek, croaking softly as he bends down to capture it in the moment. It jumps toward him, and Jensen moves to the side to snap pictures of it in the air, bent down and trying his hardest to get the right view. It keeps leaping away, heading toward it's destination. If a frog even has a destination in mind. It disappears into the enclove of trees, and Jensen watches with a moment of fascination, hoping it comes out on camera the way he crosses his fingers for.

He stops a moment before he continues, feeling nauseated in the pit of his stomach. He's been feeling this way for the last month or so, stomach cramps, achey body, throwing up with his head pressed down into the toilet bowl. Either puking up lunch or bile, he knows what it could mean and he hates himself a little bit for being so stupid and childish. His mother and most of his family praises him for being such a level-headed thirteen year old, a wise old soul. It's what they say and he's gone and done something so stupid, something he should have really thought through. He's going to disappoint his mother if it turns out to be true, she loves him unconditionally but he knows he'll see the sourness in her pale green eyes and he'll feel shame before he feels pride. 

He knows who the father is. His bestfriend since first grade. On the playground, playing tag and exchanging names. Soon it became swapping lunches and punching each other in the arm or wrestling until one of them got hurt and went crying to their mothers. Things had been a lot easier back then. But then puberty hit and sexual identities came into question and they began experimenting. It was Chris' idea at first. They jerked off together, watching porn on the laptop. Chris got off on the male on female action while Jensen found it lacking. Soon they started watching gay porn and Jensen really felt something then. Fascinated by dicks going into places that seemed physically impossible. Soon they upgraded to jerking each other off and trading blow jobs, it became common practice between them. When they get time alone, they have sex and no one knows anything about it.

Blow jobs and jerking off became fingering, discovering the prostate. Chris really wasn't into that when they tried it out on him but Jensen loved it. He ended up having the best orgasms with fingers up his anus, milking his prostate. He's writhe and moan, asking for more. It was no surprise when Jensen suggested they have intercourse. Chris had been wary at first, claiming that would make them more gay than they already were and Jensen had rolled his eyes, telling him _'I think I'm already gay.'_ and Chris stared for a moment and asked if he was sure and Jensen laughed. Yeah, he was sure. Chris spent the night at Jensen's house, his mom was at work and his sister at a friend's house. They skipped the foreplay, forgot the condoms and fucked. It had been messy and inexperienced. Chris came before Jensen got off and then Jensen jerked himself off the rest of the way. It had been a little awkward and strange afterward, but then they laughed and told each other it sucked. All was good.

But Jensen and Chris didn't think he could get pregnant. Male carriers didn't start ovulating until they were sixteen or older. Of course, there were cases where sometimes someone younger ended up pregnant but it was a small percent. Jensen guessed he was that slim chance. Unlucky him. He knows in his bones, he's pregnant. He knows there's a life growing inside him but it seems like such a far away concept at the moment. Something unobtainable and strange. 

His head snaps up to something cracking in the forest, and he looks up to see Chris approaching from the distance. Hands in his hoodie pocket, looking around for him. His long hair is pulled back into a hair tie, and his long bangs move to either side of his face. He stares and can't help thinking Chris doesn't need to know if he is. He loves Chris like a brother, but he knows even though he's a year older, he isn't very mature and probably wouldn't take it well. He also definitely knows Chris' parents would freak out, not only because they've been getting into homosexual acts, but they're both young and not ready for kids. 

“There you are,” Chris says, voice carrying through the woods. It's breaking finally, cracking but it has a southern twang despite that. “What are you getting up to?”

Jensen stands up, letting his camera fall around his neck as he stretches his arms above his head and cracks his back. “Just taking pictures.” 

“The others are getting worried. It's almost dark, man,” Chris tells him, half smile set on his pale pink lips. 

Jensen shrugs. “I would have found my way back. Said I was going for a walk didn't I?”

“Yeah, you did but you know, I worry,” Chris says, hands sliding out as they fall to his sides. 

Jensen smirks. “Okay, mama bear. I'll walk back with you and hold your hand the whole way, so I don't get lost.”

“Shut up, Jennybean,” Chris says, rolling his eyes. 

“Why do I have to keep telling you not to call me that?,” Jensen whines, as he comes up next to Chris and they start walking back toward camp. 

“Because you're my jennybean and I'm not stopping,” Chris says firmly as he knocks him on the back of the head. 

Jensen sighs dramatically. “Okay, Chrissybear.” 

“Chrissybear is way worse,” Chris says, crunching over old leaves. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Jensen says sarcastically. 

“It is,” Chris insists.

Jensen nods. “Mmhmm.” 

They argue the whole way back to camp.

\---------------------

He decides to tell his mom. His stomach feels even worse than usual, gnawing at his insides like a deep dark black hole. He sits through dinner, picking at his plate because he's afraid he'll end up throwing up and outing himself before he gets a chance to talk. Mackenzie finishes and goes to her room to talk on her phone to whichever friend of the week she has and Jensen purses his lips, looking across the table.

His mother is beautiful, her blonde locks cut short and angled around her cherub looking face perfectly but she looks tired and worn out which he suspects she is since his dad's death. She works too hard, constantly has to take double shifts and Jensen is left at home with Mackenzie half the time to take care of things. He cooks, cleans, sometimes does the paperwork for bills so his mom doesn't have to. He doesn't mind, he needs to do his part and if that means not being a normal thirteen year old, that's okay. Long as his mom gets to sleep and rest her feet for awhile. 

“Mom?,” He says quietly, putting his fork down. Half eaten chicken, and potatoes. At least he finished his stuffing. 

She looks up, checking her text messages. “Yeah?”

Jensen swallows. “I have something to tell you but please don't get mad.”

She looks up, phone disappearing under the table. Her face goes from absent to serious. “Why would I get mad, Jensen?”

Jensen takes a deep breath. “Okay... so, Chris and I started messing around when I was twelve.”

Her face hardens. “Messing around as in?” 

“As in... doing sexual stuff together,” Jensen says in a small voice. 

Donna exhales, nods. “Okay. Continue.” 

“And a couple months ago, we had sex,” Jensen says, feeling like he's trying to keep what he needs to say at bay. 

Donna closes her eyes, hands coming to rest at her nose as she pinches it. “Please, don't say what I think you're going to say.” 

Jensen sucks in his bottom lip. “If you already know...”

“No, say it. I don't want to assume the worst, just as long as you haven't contracted a disease. I can take it,” She says and Jensen has a sudden feeling of appreciativeness for his mother. 

“I think I might be pregnant,” He finally says and it leaves a weird taste in his mouth to say it outloud instead of just thinking it. Like a heavy weight is on his tongue and he has a hard time pushing it off. 

“Okay,” She breathes. “Okay.” 

There's a long moment of silence. Stretching out as they look everywhere but each other. 

“You may not be, but If you really think you are. We should go get some pregnancy tests and be sure,” She says, her green eyes understanding.

Jensen smiles, it's shaky but he does.

\--------------------

They go after his mother's morning shift the next day, before she has to do the night shift. They go out to eat first and then talk about school and work. Finally they make their way into wal-mart and grab three pregnancy tests. Jensen can't help feeling like all eyes are on him, like they'll know he's a teenage slut and he's got himself knocked up even though he logically knows, if anyone is looking, they're probably thinking he's just a boy with his possibly pregnant mom. He tries to tell himself that but he can't help the more negative thoughts, things he hardly let's himself do until now.

They go home and Jensen sits in the bathroom, pees on all three sticks. His mother comes in and they wait. Silence feels the room, bated breaths, Jensen's Adam's Apple bobs as Donna looks through the sticks. 

She looks at Jensen quietly then drops the sticks in the trash, clapping a hand over her mouth. “You're pregnant.” And somehow it feels like a death sentence, the way she says it.

Jensen takes a deep breath. “Okay, pregnant. Wow.” 

“I think we should make an appointment just to be sure,” Donna says, sounding like she's going into denial.

Jensen laughs, a little holllowly. “Three tests, mom. They're not lying.” 

“Three tests can turn out to be false. I'm making an appointment,” She says as she leaves the bathroom.

Jensen sits there, hands on his knees as he stares down at the floor. He knows it's true and he can't deny it. He just doesn't know how to handle it at the moment. He's pregnant, freaking pregnant. They make retarded shows about kids his age, messing up their lives so early and trying to make a life out of something that becomes so hard. He's a statistic. It really blows.

\--------------------

The doctor's visit is just the icing on the cake. It's once again positive. As soon as Donna gets in the car, she's crying, full on sobs and Jensen just sits there awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do.

“You were both so fucking stupid, Jensen. What were you thinking?,” She asks him, breath hitched and hiccuping. 

“I know... I don't know what I was thinking,” He admits, staring down at his hands. Finally feeling that shame in his mother's disappointment. 

“We're not telling Mack, not for awhile. I don't want her to think it's okay to get pregnant so young and I don't know how to explain any of this to her yet,” Donna goes on, wiping at her eyes as she tries to get her breathing under control.

“Okay,” Jensen agrees, nodding his head. 

“And you're not telling Chris yet. Lord knows his parents will blow a gasket or something worse than that,” She tells him, turning to look at him.

Jensen nods again. “No telling Chris. Got it.” This he one hundred percent agrees with, he knows the hell that will come from that and it's best not to poke a rattle snake with a stick.

“God, do you even want to keep it?,” She asks, like she finally realizes there are other options besides giving birth.

Jensen is quiet for a brief second before he answers. “Yeah, I do. It's my baby. It didn't ask to be brought into the world and killing it would just be wrong. It's my fault, I'll raise it and deal with it.” 

She sighs, hands clutching the wheel. “You won't have to do it alone but you're finishing school, even if you're home schooled. I won't take that dropping out of school bullshit because you're pregnant.” 

Jensen huffs a breath. “I don't plan on quitting. I'll go to school until my second trimester and then home school sounds better. Don't want to deal with any taunts and other things from students.” 

Donna nods. “Good, okay. Now that it's settled. Let's go home and just...breathe, yes breathe.” 

She starts the car and Jensen looks out the window the entire way home.

\--------------------

It's a bright Saturday afternoon. Jensen finished his homework, then did house work with his mom and Mackenzie. It wasn't exactly dirty but they take every other weekend and clean it from top to bottom, dust and wash down walls. They've always been neat people, Mackenize and him even keep their rooms clean unlike other kids. He's seen Mackenzie freak out because she has a few clothes on her floor and then she claims her room is a mess and ends up cleaning everything. He wouldn't be surprised if they all had OCD, his grandmother had been bipolar and manic depressive. And then there were more before that. Mental illness runs in the family. But in reality, it's just that they're clean. His mom always says Godliness is next to cleaniness and he supposes that has stuck with them.

He goes through the house spraying a can of strawberry scented febreeze. The front door and the windows are open to air out the house. He can smell the pot of coffee in the kitchen, brewing and he wants a cup so bad, but he knows it's bad for his unborn child. However his mouth waters and just for a second he wants a cup. He stands there for a moment and makes a quick decision, one cup won't hurt every now and again. He puts the can down on the coffee table and makes his way into the kitchen. His mom is standing at the counter, deep yellow cup with a smiley face on it in her hand. 

“No coffee, Jensen,” She says immediately as if she can sense his need.

Jensen sighs. “One cup won't hurt anything.”

Donna shakes her head. “Not good for the baby.”

“One cup,” he insists, standing up on his tippy toes to take down his favorite travel mug. 

“That's too big, get a regular mug,” She chatises, reaching past him to grab a black one with a fireworks design. 

Jensen grumbles underneath his breath and puts the travel mug back. He takes the coffee cup she's offering and pours steaming hot coffee in it. He takes a taste and makes a face, it's the cinnamon kind. Much more bitter. “Why didn't you make regular?” He reaches across the counter and opens the lid on the jar of sugar, putting in two heaping spoonfuls and stirring.

“We're out and that's all we had. I'll get our usual later,” Donna says, walking past him as she ruffles his hair. 

He takes another sip and it's less bitter with a hint of sweet. Not bad but he likes his coffee black. Outside, sound moves through the house, and something pulls up somewhere close by. Loud with a deep beeping sound. He leans back against the counter, sipping at his coffee tentatively as doors open, slam and voices come through. He moves from the kitchen, into the living room and looks out one of the windows but sees nothing but the usual. He moves to another window and his green eyes catch sight of a moving truck next door and behind that a white truck. There are men in uniforms, three. One is stick skinny, standing on the lawn, another is kinda on the bigger side and one is muscular. There's another man without a uniform and he has long golden brown hair brushing his shoulders. He's talking to the people and their voices carry.  
 _”Just going to unlock the house and then I'll help you guys. Don't want you doing it all on your own,” the brown haired man says._

There are murmurs of thanks and agreement as one of the men disappear and the sound of a shutter opens. 

“Someone is moving into the Hardys old house,” Jensen says loud enough for his mother to hear. 

She comes in a second later, coming to stand behind Jensen. “I miss the Hardys. They were such good neighbors.” 

The Hardys had been good people, if a bit weird. They had a daughter who was twelve and hung out with Jensen sometimes. She liked him but he didn't like her back. Will he miss them? Sure. They were cool, better to live next to them instead of some partier or a band of idiots. “The house is kinda big for one person. Wonder where the rest of his family is.” He observes.

“Yeah, you're right. Maybe, they'll be coming later,” Donna answers, standing next to Jensen as they both peer out the window.

The Hardys had come from money, they had been at least high middle class but Jensen and his mom had never been rude enough to ask how much they made. But the house was huge, four bedrooms, a back yard and extra rooms downstairs. Their own house is kinda big but the only way they can afford it currently is on his dad's life insurance and his mom working so hard to keep the roof over their heads. Eventually they'll have to move. In conclusion: the person moving in, has to have money. 

“Wonder who he is?,” Jensen murmurs, taking another sip. As they begin moving things from the truck and into the house. 

“Maybe a famous actor or tv personality or someone who hit the lotto,” Donna says with a chuckle. 

“We'll have to ask him for an autograph,” Jensen says, giving a small smirk. 

“Then sell it on ebay,” Donna quips, moving away from the window.

“Maybe,” Jensen answers, taking one last long look at the man in the plain white shirt and faded blue jeans before he walks away from the window and sits down with his mother to watch Days of Our Lives.

Whoever he is, he kinda wants to find out.

\--------------------

He heaves a breath, carrying the final piece of furniture up the stairs. Carei, one of the moving men who's head is shiny and bald, helps him move it into his bedroom and set it down against the wall. His muscles ache from carrying everything inside and he looks at the man, feeling like got his exercise for the day. “Thanks, man. You guys have been a really big help. Wouldn't have been able to do this otherwise.”

Carei smiles. “No problem. We provide what you ask for.” 

Jared nods, as they move out of the room and back downstairs. He already paid for their services but he reaches into his wallet and takes out three crisp one hundred dollar bills since he currently doesn't have the means to feed or give them any drinks. Considering he just moved in. His feet carry him to the porch as the guys are standing around talking and Jared makes his way to their circle. “Here. A tip for helping me out.”

The men turn to look at him in slight disbelief, as he hands them each a hundred dollar bill.

Alric grins. “Why thank you. Best tip any of us have had in a long time.”

“You guys deserve it,” Jared says with a smile. “Heading out?”

“Yeah, just resting up before we head back,” Zach says as he folds the bill into his pocket. 

“Just be safe, it's almost night fall,” Jared tells them earnestly. 

“Oh, don't worry. We will,” Alric tells him, tipping his baseball cap. 

They spend the next twenty minutes shooting the shit before they pile back into the moving truck and take off. Jared walks to his truck, reaches in the back and starts hauling bags of clothes into the house from the truck bed.Then his other personal belongings, like his laptop and other devices that he didn't trust to be piled in the moving truck. He locks it up and heads inside the house. There's still daylight but sadly the electric company won't be here until tomorrow and the gas company won't get there until Thursday. He'll have to deal with cold showers for a few days. He lights a few candles in the kitchen and grabs the phonebook he managed to get from the counter, rifling through the yellow pages. He dials Papa John's on his cellphone and gets a meat lovers deal with a bottle of pepsi and cheese sticks. The order taker is polite, sounds kinda cute over the line and he wonders if he'll end up seeing him at the door in forty five minutes.

He tosses his cell on the on the kitchen nook and starts going through his boxes of dishes and appliances to get the kitchen set up at least.

He needed a fresh start. Somewhere away from Ohio, after the events that happened. Being a Best selling author, you'd think you wouldn't run into much trouble like a a movie star or celebrity does but that isn't the case. Mavis Dillard. His number one _fan_ had become obsessed with finding out who he was personally and ended up camping out at his house frequently in her small sedan. At first he ignored her, thinking she was just a little smitten and weird. Call him sexiest but he didn't think she really posed as a threat because she was a woman. But that turned out to be false. 

She started sending him weird love letters, talking about his characters and worlds as if they were real. Saying they belonged together, that they had the same mind. She wanted him to read over her own stories, and help her get published. He would have actually helped if he hadn't been so creeped out by her words. Because soon those love letters became violent and threatening when he didn't answer right away and he had to get a restraining order to keep her off the premises.

Everything had been silent for a little while. Two weeks to be exact but then he woke up one night tied to his bed and gagged. The lights were on in his room and she was sitting on his bed, brandishing a buck knife. Glinting in the light. He had been terrified as she talked. Told him he was so full of himself, disregarding her and seeing her as just another fan. That they could make beautiful babies together and have a real life. She would take care of him so well if he'd just let her. He remembers feeling like he was suffocating, trying to get his ankles and wrists free from his bounds. She turned to him and leaned forward, blade pressed to her throat as she sneered. _'But you wouldn't want that, would you.'_ She looked so young, in her early twenties and she was pretty. Not how he imagined her at all. Wavy blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Those eyes were twisted and something unhealthy was in them.

He tried to speak through the gag, pleading with her not to do anything rash but she wasn't having it. She sliced a long line across his collarbone and blood poured down his chest, a crimson river. It was painful but he was more concerned with actually dying. She hummed to herself as she repeated the process, making cuts all over his body and then she pressed deep enough to sever something important and he screamed, tears springing to his eyes. He could just imagine his father at that point, saying it was his own fault. If he had just not been gay and went into the family business, he wouldn't have this problem and just for a moment, he believed the voice of his father in his head and closed his eyes.

What saved him? Not getting his bounds loose but Chad. Chad coming over at one thirty in the morning half drunk, kicked out by his roommate for the night. He came in the house with the spare key and knew something was wrong when the alarm system didn't go off instantly. Mavis had stilled on the red splotched bed as Chad yelled through the house calling for Jared. She panicked and hid in the closet. What felt like forever but did happen: Chad came in the room and stared at Jared. _'What the hell kinda kinky shit have you been up to, dude?'_ and Jared shook his head, trying to talk through the gag. Chad removed it and Jared told him the woman that had been stalking him was in the closet. She came out instantly and rushed at Chad, They struggled for dominance and eventually Chad got the upper hand, he had to stab her in the stomach and she went out like a light.

He shudders thinking about it. Closes his eyes for a second and tries to distort her face in his mind. He whispers to himself that it's all behind him now.

He remembers the paramedics, and going to the hospital. The trials afterward had been hard, and unrelenting. Chad was his only witness, but he also had Sandy and Sam as witnesses when the letters had come and seeing Mavis parked out front. She was sentenced to ten years in prison with parole in two years and Jared felt an instant churn of his stomach, he didn't want her to get out at all and he certainly didn't want to be in the same town she might be in again for good behavior, so he moved. Plain and simple. It was hard because he was leaving all his friends behind but his house didn't feel safe anymore and neither did the city of Dayton. 

He searched a few states away and found the house he wanted and the town he wanted to live in. It was small, more unknown and less likely to end up with crazy women or men coming after him. He bought it at a steep price of three hundred thousand dollars. Three weeks later after the sentencing, here he was and he felt a little better. He'll have to be in therapy for awhile with the nightmares he had been having and his side still ached from the deep cut she had instilled upon him. It was phantom more than real but it still hurt like a bitch. 

He finishes putting the plates away and moves to the silverware. His friends will be here tomorrow. Chad, Sandy, Sophia, and Sam. Along with his brother, Jeff. Megan can't make it because she's at college but she's promised to come visit him in the summer. Despite his parents' disowning him, his siblings never strayed. It felt blessed for that. Sometimes his mom asked his brother and sister how he was doing, but his father didn't seem to care. It didn't matter in the end though. Jared does what he dreamed of doing and he's rich from it, the worlds and characters he creates bring in money and he does it with a passion. It's not an office job where he'll hate it everyday or labor work where his body will break down before he has a chance to really live. It's a good life.

He finishes up in the kitchen, putting everything in it's place. He'll need to go grocery shopping as soon as the electric is on. He doesn't feel like living on take out and junk food. He used to do that once upon a time, when he was struggling but now he keeps fit and even has his own gym room. He prefers cooking anyway, nothing beats a home cooked meal and he has his grandmother's recipes printed out from a notebook he borrowed from Megan. 

The pizza arrives. And he sets up in the living room with glowing candle light and his laptop. It's silent save for the clacking of the keys as he writes his new novel. About a boy, his dog and the alien forces that are secretly taking over his hometown. He read many conspiracy alien novels to get in the mood but he was inspired by documentaries of people being abducted and conspiracy theories involving certain types of aliens and what they do. He tries hard not to copy anything he has read save for those documentaries, instead creating his own lure and strangeness. 

He gets lost in writing for the next couple of hours, briefly wondering about his neighborhood and the neighbors. When he came to look at the house three weeks back, he had seen some kids playing in the yards and the smell of barbeque but no adults. He figures he'll have to round people up and have a party to get acquainted. He can be solitary but he needs company, not having his friends around will be lonely and making new friends isn't such a bad idea. 

He looks at his cellphone, it's twelve thirty and the electric company will be here around ten in the morning. Bright and early despite the fact that if he could, he'd write all night and never get any sleep. He saves his document, shuts down his laptop and grabs a comforter and pillow from one of the bags. Cocoons himself and closes his eyes as he snuggles deep into the couch. His last thoughts before he sleeps, are of a boy running through the forest with a black husky on his tail, and the aliens hot on their trail before he can warn the town.


	2. Chapter 2

Jared's friends and brother come with rousing support. They set up his room, with a new comforter and sheet set on the bed. He made sure to get rid of the old one, he couldn't stand to try and even get the blood out even though it had been his favorite. He doesn't want the memories. They set up everything in the house, all three guests rooms are situated with beds and decorations. The living room is done up with family pictures and posters from Jared's favorite movies. Art lines the walls of the hallways and the place already looks lived in. Sophia, Sandy and him go grocery shopping and they buy enough for the party tomorrow while Chad, Jeff and Sam go around the neighborhood with party invitations for his house warming. There's a pool out back so he's sure that will get people interested and there will be free food and drinks. What's not to love? 

As they're putting groceries away, Jared stands at the sink and does the dishes that the men managed to dirty while they were away. Sandy dries them and puts them away. He looks up through the kitchen window and catches the sight of a small boy standing across the short distance of side of the house. He has tussled dark blonde hair and wide eyes, even from here Jared can tell he's a handsome kid. They stare at each other for a few moments, not looking away and then the boy turns and disappears from sight. He frowns for a moment. Wondering why the boy had been staring into his kitchen window anyway. 

“Who was that?,” Sandy asks quietly, taking a cup from him.

Jared shrugs. “Some next door neighbor kid. Kinda creeped me out though.”

“Huh. I'm sure you'll meet the rascal tomorrow, and he'll explain why he was being a creeper,” She says with a slight giggle. 

Jared laughs nervously. “I think I'm just being paranoid.”

“I know, baby but don't be scared. Just a kid. I'm sure he was just curious,” Sandy soothes, running a hand up and down his back in a rub. 

Jared nods. “Yeah, you're probably right.”

\--------------------

Tomorrow comes bright and early. Jared listens to the sounds of the house as his friends move around groggy and stumbling into things. He hasn't slept a wink, staying up all night and writing. His fingers burned something fierce as everything came to him, it may be his favorite novel yet. He listens as someone comes down the stairs, and makes their way into the kitchen. He keeps writing, but his laptop needs a break and in reality, he needs a new one. It makes the worst whirring sounds like it's on it's last leg but he gets fond of his technology like he does a human being. Then again, much of humanity has become that way.

He writes for a few more beats then closes the laptop and makes his way upstairs to catch a shower. It's twelve in the afternoon, and the party starts at two. It's freezing cold when he gets in, he'd jack off but it seems pointless. His dick feels ice cold and there's nothing in particular that he wants to think about. He hasn't even had a date with anyone in over a year and his last ex is nothing to fantasize about, he was a bastard and Jared doesn't get off thinking about him anymore. He gets out, dresses and Sophia and Sandy go in next with their hair care products and make up. Piling it all on the two sink counter. Which he finds pointless, since they'll be swimming but women are women. He smacks Sandy on the ass on the way out and she punches him in the arm calling him an asshole. He smiles and calls her darling. 

He feels a lot better already.

\--------------------

The party is in full swing. At least twenty five people have shown up with house warming gifts that he doesn't really need. He tries to politely tell them without being offensive that they probably need it more than he does and only a couple take it personally, but others seem glad they can keep their gifts. What he does keep however are the sweet desserts and dishes full of food that he gets to sample for the next week. He never turns down food.

He mingles for awhile. Talks to each person, asks them about their life. So far he likes the Kennedys, a young couple with a three year old toddler. They're friendly and funny, bright and fresh faces. Next comes the Walkers, they're kind of serious but the girlfriend is warm and caring. They have an eight year old daughter who is smitten with Jared and he 'woos' her playfully as he chases her around the pool deck and tickles her senseless. Really none of the people have been unpleasant so far and they've been welcoming. He's already making friends and he feels more at ease for it. 

Sandy and him sit on the edge of the pool, their legs wading in the water as people swim about. Sam and Chad are on barbeque duty, people are eating and laughing. It feels kinda homey. Sandy kisses him slow and sweet, they make out for a little while like they always do. It doesn't really mean anything. She's one of the few girls he's always been attracted to but they've known each other since they were in diapers and sometimes she feels more like a sister instead of a potential love interest. They taught each other how to kiss and kissing her feels like something familiar, comfortable and warm. It's just their thing. 

“Break it up you two, you're making me fucking sick.” Chad's voice floats to Jared's ears.

Jared breaks away from Sandy, rolls his eyes and wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand. “Shut up. You're just pissed she still deflects your advances.” 

Chad smirks. “She wouldn't if she knew what a man I am in bed.”

Sandy scoffs. “You wish, Murrary. Go man the grill like a good little boy.” 

“Whatever,” Chad says, hands on his hips as he glances back at Jared. “So, look. I kinda wanted to tell you this yesterday but figured I could do it now.”

“Yeah?,” Jared asks, looking up as the sun kinda beams in his eyes and he moves his hand to shield his eyes from it.

“I was thinking of staying for a few weeks, you know, until you get settled in but after this I'm heading to L.A. There's a potential television show spot and a few other things lined up for me that I need to look into,” Chad explains. 

Jared watched absently as Sandy dives into the pool, heading for Sophia. “Okay. Would be nice for you to stay for awhile. I'm really gonna miss you guys when you're gone.”

“Good because I was going to stay rather you liked it or not. Also, you're paying for my plane ticket, I don't have the cash,” Chad tells him.

Jared snorts. “Of course. Mooch off me.”

“You know you love me, Padabear,” Chad says with a smirk. 

“Yeah, I do. Only reason I'll pay for it,” Jared admits. 

“Going back to the grill. I'll make you a plate. Mayo, tomato and lettuce on your burger? And ketchup and relish on your hotdog?,” Chad asks.

Jared nods. “Spicy Doritos and potato salad on the side. Thanks, dude.”

Chad leaves and Jared turns his head, to see two new people arrive. Kids. One is a girl with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, one piece white bathing suit with a blue dolphin design going up the side and a blue towel over her shoulder. The other... definitely the boy from next door. Wearing light blue Hawaiian trunks and a t-shirt. He watches as they move through the crowd, saying hello to their neighbors. Obviously knowing some of them. He hears a woman, Miss Callaway ask where 'Donna' is and the boy replies _'At work.'_ They move over to an empty picnic table and take seats across from each other, the little girl kicking her feet underneath. 

“You coming in?,” Sophia asks as she comes to the edge of the pool, leaning her arms and elbows. 

Jared shakes his head. “Nah, gonna go talk to the neighbors. I'll get in, in a little while.” 

“Suit yourself,” She says, swimming away back toward Sandy and Jeff. 

He gets up, stretches and makes his way over. The boy looks up, noticing him and stares at him before looking away. He smiles and walks over to them. “Hey.”

“Hey,” The girl replies, smiling up at him. “Your party?” She's a pretty little girl, soft brown eyes and braces on her teeth. 

“My party,” Jared answers. “I just moved in. We're neighbors. You live next door right?”

“Yeah, we do,” The boy says, looking up at Jared. He suddenly feels like the breath is punched out of him... the kid has a beauty about him. Kinda otherworldly, sharp but soft edges, his eyes seem light but he can't tell the color and really, he shouldn't be impressed with the looks of a kid. He's thirty two years old, and the boy can't be older than fourteen. 

“Cool,” Jared replies awkwardly then clears his throat. “So, I'm Jared. I'm making it customary to know my neighbors. Tell me about yourselves?” He moves around and takes a seat by the girl. One leg over the bench, while the other is outside so he can look at both of them.

“I'm Mackenzie!,” The girl says cheerfully. “Um, I take dance classes and dance in the parade every year with my group. It's a lot of fun.” 

Jensen raises his hand a little. “Jensen. I'm in eighth grade and I take pictures. Photography and I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm in a new school and introducing myself.” 

Jared laughs. “I'm sorry to make you feel that way.”

“It makes me feel stupid,” Jensen deadpans. 

Mackenzie glares at her brother, kicking him under the table. “Be nice. Mama taught you better manners than that.”

Jensen shrugs. “Sorry.” but he gives his sister the evil eye. 

Jared chuckles. “No problem. I really understand. I'd feel stupid too if a stranger asked me about myself and I didn't know what the hell to say. I should smack myself for putting you in this situation.” 

“It's okay. I don't mind at least,” Mackenzie says. “I also collect seashells and my grandma sends me new ones every year from Myrtle Beach when she goes.”

“I'd love to see your collection. It's been ages since I went to a beach, the seashells are always the best part,” Jared says, smiling softly at her. 

“You totally can. It's got the best shells,” Mackenzie beams, looking pleased.

“So, Jared. What about you?,” Jensen says, turning the tables. 

Jared juts out his bottom lip and looks up toward the sky for a moment. “I'm an author.” 

“An author? What do you go by? Maybe I've read some of your stuff,” Jensen pries, giving Jared an intense look.

Jared warms under the collar. He gets the feeling Jensen really wants to know about him, like he's genuinely interested. “You've heard of J.T Padalecki?” 

Jensen's eyes widen. “You're J.T?”

Jared nods, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Yeah... I am.” People knowing who he is, isn't a surprise. He's had seven best selling novels since he was twenty one, three of them a collection of short stories. He shot up in the ranks of sought out authors quickly, they called him the next Stephen King and his fans believe in that but see him as a separate entity. 

“Dude,” Jensen breathes. “I have all your books. I'm a really big fan.” 

“I'm going to get in the pool,” Mackenzie announces, leaving her towel on the bench. “Nice meeting you, Jared.”

“You too,” Jared tells her, as she makes a run for the pool area.

“Be careful,” Jensen calls after her and Mackenzie turns to blow her brother a kiss and a wink, telling him she will. “But yeah, wow. I'm living next door to one of my favorite authors. That's mind blowing.” 

Jared chuckles. “I guess. I'm glad you're a fan.” 

“I loved Moonlight Creatures the best. Kelly Wade was such an awesome character. You made him so believable, and I could relate to him,” Jensen tells him, looking way more interested than he had a few moments ago.

Jared raises his eyebrow. “You relate to a man who murdered his wife in cold blood?” 

Jensen's face colors the shade of a mac apple and he shrugs his shoulders. “Well, I mean. In a way that we all do bad things but we all have good inside us. When he plotted to stop Winston that took guts besides, he killed her in a crime of passion. She cheated on him, treated him badly, a man can only take so much before he snaps.” 

“Those were my same thoughts too, but I'm still surprised when people see the depth and humanity of the situation,” Jared answers easily, surprised to hear it from a kid that has to be eighteen years younger than him. “What did you think of Midnight Sun?” 

“The vampires were the best I ever read. Your lore was interesting, things I never considered and way better than what some authors have come out with in the last ten years. I was really surprised by the turn of events when Ethan killed his mother and she turned out to be conspiring with the enemy. She seemed... well, there was nothing off about her but that was the best part. I couldn't breathe when I got there. You really know how to shock and awe,” Jensen rambles on then pauses. “I'm babbling. Sorry. I do that.”

Jared smiles lopsidedly. “It's cool, man. Really. I love hearing how passionate you are about what I've done. That's why I do it, well part of the reason why. I really love writing and then I love seeing people get lost in what I've created. It let's me know I've done my job.” 

Jensen nods, giving a half lipped smile. “You do your job well. Working on anything new?” 

Jared turns his head and makes a mmm sound. “Well... I can't tell you anything but yeah, I am. Should be finished in a couple months.”

“I can't wait to read it,” Jensen says.

“Won't be too long,” Jared says with a nod. “One more question. You a tablet reader or books in your hand kinda guy?”

Jensen laughs. “I don't like ebook readers, I mean, sometimes I'll read on my laptop but I prefer to have a hard cover. Nothing beats the smell of a new or old book in your hands, turning the pages. Old school, you know?”

Jared smirks. “You're officially in my book of awesome.”

“How many people are in that book?,” Jensen teases, smirking back.

“Not many. Chad might tell you he is, but he's really not,” Jared says, shaking his head.

“Who's Chad?,” Jensen asks, a quizzical look on his face.

Just as Jensen asks, Jared turns his head to see the devil coming toward him with two plates of food piled on top of each other and a grape soda. 

“That's Chad,” Jared says, pointing at him.

Jensen turns his head and nods. “Gotcha.” 

“Your slave has arrived with the goods,” Chad says as he places everything in front of Jared. “Who is this?”

“Chad, meet Jensen. Jensen meet Chad,” Jared tells him. 

The two shake hands and Chad grins. “Nice to meet you kid. You're stuck with Jared now, so I warn, if you ever hang out with him full time? He has the most rank farts. You can't escape them even if you go in another room.” 

Jensen laughs. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Chad, shut up and go cook,” Jared says, making a face as he stuffs a Dorito in his mouth. 

“Just warning him. Someone's gotta,” Chad says with a snicker as he turns and leaves.

Jensen smiles at him. “It's okay. I've got pretty nasty farts myself especially lately.” 

Jared suddenly full belly laughs. “Can we not talk about this while I'm eating?”

Jensen purses his lips, looking amused. “No problem.”

“Go get yourself something to eat. Bet your hungry,” Jared tells him, as he starts digging into his food.

Jensen shakes his head. “No, I'm okay. Really.”

“Alright,” Jared answers, eyes catching a weird look on Jensen's face and he has to wonder what that's about but he could just be full.

They spend an hour talking. Jensen tells him about school, his classes, and friends. Apparently he isn't much into sports even though he played peewee football for a couple years as a kid, something his dad wanted him to do. And his father died of pancreatic cancer two years ago. Jared feels bad for the kid, he knows it must be hard. He didn't have to grow up without a father, and despite how shit is between him and his parents, he's grateful he had them while he could. Jensen amazes him in a lot of ways, he talks like an adult. Sure, he says some phrases kids say but he seems so … wise for a kid. Jared tries to avoid personal information about himself, uncomfortable with telling anything straight away. Jared and him go join their families and friends in the pool, they end up play fighting and dunking each other. Jensen keeps moving away every time Jared gets too close to his stomach, then again he's doing that with everyone but he doesn't really think about it. He already has a feeling he just made his first close friend and even if that's a thirteen year old boy, so be it. He really doesn't mind.

\--------------------

Jensen breathes, he was scared the whole time he was in the pool. Every jab to his side and skims across his stomach underneath the water, worried him sick. He knows he has to be more careful, but in a way he feels like his childhood is about to be ripped away from him in the next seven months and then for the rest of his teenage years. It doesn't really bother him in a way you might believe, but he can't do anything that would endanger his baby and he realizes there's so much more to worry about now. He gets out of the shower, toweling his hair as he slips on his pajamas. He made sure Mackenzie took her bath and did her homework, now he has to do his before he goes to bed. Mom won't be home until twelve in the morning and he made sure to grab her a couple plates from the barbeque. Actually, Jared made sure since there was a lot of food left over and no one was taking anything.

But fuck, his new neighbor is not only an author he idolizes but he's hotter than hell. Intelligent, funny, treats him like any other person and has the most sexy voice he ever heard. Jensen is definitely developing a crush even though he knows no sane thirty two year old would get involved with a pregnant teenager. Not to mention, he doesn't even know if he's gay. Why is he even thinking of these things? It's fruitless. He has too much to worry about, besides, jumping the bones of a man who'd feel uncomfortable with a kid crushing on him would be unethical. However, he wants to photograph him. Jared is handsome. He bets he's photogenic. It would show up well. He'll ask him next time he sees him. 

He does his homework at his desk, all seven classes of it. It's not hard for him. He's a smart kid, does everything he has to do and usually makes As and Bs. He keeps his head down in school and tries not to draw attention to himself, especially now. He has a few friends. Tom, Mike, Steve and of course, Chris. Danneel is the girl in homeroom who has a crush on him, he doesn't reciprocate but she brings him little gifts and smiles at him warmly. He likes her anyway, thinks he should befriend her. He hears the door open downstairs and gets up from his desk. He looks at the clock, twelve twenty three, and he knows it's mom. He goes downstairs and hears her rummaging around in the living room.

He goes to the archway and leans against the wall. “Welcome home, Mama.” 

Donna is laying back on the couch, an arm thrown over her eyes. “Thanks, baby. Did you go to that party?”

“I did,” Jensen says. “There's some barbeque for you in the fridge if you're hungry.”

“Oh, good. I'm ravished. Didn't eat anything at work, didn't have time. So busy tonight. There was a car accident out on the highway and there were seven people involved, very bloody and traumatizing. Three were children. it was so sad... we lost one. A little girl.,” She explains, sounding sad and defeated.

“I'm sorry,” Jensen whispers. “That's really messed up.” 

“Yeah, it was. Her mother cried herself to sleep, I cried with her. Exhausting but she needed someone there with her and I was afraid she might bite off her tongue or something drastic,” Donna says with a sigh. 

Jensen nods. 

“So, how's the new neighbor?,” She says, lightening the conversation.

Jensen feels bad for the subject change but he can see his mother really doesn't want to talk about it even if that's her job. “Well, you won't believe it but the guy who moved next door? Is J.T Padalecki.”

“What?,” Donna breathes. “Are you serious?” 

“As a heart attack,” Jensen tells her, chuckling. “He's really cool. Humble, down to earth and so loving of his work. He really floored me, mama.” 

“I have got to meet him. I bet he's a handsome devil,” Donna says sitting up, sounding excited. Jensen started reading his books first and when his mom needed something new to read, Jensen recommended them to her and she read them too. While she isn't a horror fan, she ended up really liking most of the books and became a fan too. 

“Mom, he is. He's like so hot the sun cries tears in jealousy,” Jensen tells her.

She laughs. “I'll take your word for it. I'll go invite him over for dinner tomorrow.” 

“Don't embarrass us,” Jensen whines.

“I won't you silly goose, just being friendly. Sure he won't mind,” Donna chides quietly.

“I'm going to bed. Goodnight, mom. Love you,” Jensen says.

“Love you too, baby. Sweet dreams,” She calls after him, as Jensen disappears up the stairs.

\--------------------

The next day, Donna does as promised. She goes over, stands on Jared's porch as they talk. Jensen watches from the window, reading their body language. He can tell they're comfortable and at ease with one another, his mom throws her head back and laughs as Jared touches her arm every now and then as if he's a doctor with bedside manner. For a second, he thinks _What if they end up together?_ and to his horror, he can't help the thought that it'd be kinda kinky to have a hot step father but he quickly erases that from his mind and tries not to dwell on it. By the end of the conversation, Chad comes out on the porch and she speaks to him for a moment then she's hugging Jared which is surprising. His mom never trusts someone so easily that she hugs them right away. That must mean Jared is something special. Two minutes later, his mom is coming in the house and she smiles brightly.

“He's so goddamn nice and sweet,” She gushes, cheeks colored a little red. 

“Told you. Did he hit on you?,”Jensen asks, laughing. 

“Oh, not at all. He was a perfect gentleman but that Chad did. Said I was hot for a milf and while he was here, we should go on a date somewhere,” Donna says with a shake of her head. 

“Did you say yes?,” Jensen asks, amused. 

“Of course not, he's far too young for me and he seems kinda like a player,” Donna replies, making a face and shaking her head again. “Just, no.” 

“Jared said he is. So good call,” Jensen says as he walks through the hallway. His cell plays Faggot by Mindless Self indulgence, something his mother disapproves of everytime she hears it and sure enough when he turns to look at her, she's making a face. “I'm gonna take this up in my room. 

“You really should remove that song from your phone. It's prejudice, Jensen. You shouldn't think of yourself like that,” Donna chastises, ticking her tongue. 

“It's just a song mom,” He says, going up the stairs.

“Music has a way of worming into your heart and changing your thoughts,” She calls up the stairs.

He rolls his eyes and answers. “Chris?”

“Hey Jennybean,” Chris' southern twang drawls through the phone. “What's up?” 

They talk for the next half hour. They haven't hung out in a week, usually only at school and he supposes they're both itching to continue their private party for two. He comes close to telling him the _bad_ news a few times but manages to contain himself. He knows it won't go over well. It'll only cause problems and he'd much rather keep the peace for as long as he can. They make plans to meet the next day before Jensen has company over but he wonders now that his mom knows what he's been up to, if she'll hoover and warn them off on doing anything. But then what's the worst that can happen? He's already pregnant.

\--------------------

He kisses a line of saliva across Chris' neck, but he doesn't leave a hickey. That's one of their rules, no where anyone can see. Their dicks are out and they're pumping them, soft moans and grunts as they push into their hands trying to get off. Chris stops, catching his breath as he bats Jensen's hand away. “I brought condoms.”

“And?,” Jensen asks, licking his lips. He finds it strange that Chris is worried about condoms now, they didn't use them last time. But it had been on a whim.

“And I thought we could do it,” Chris tells him, waggling his eyebrows mischievously. 

Jensen raises both eyebrows and nods. “Okay, but I'm on top this time.” 

Chris frowns, whining. “Dude, you like bottoming. I don't care for having something up my ass. Be a man and take it.”

Jensen laughs. “You be a man about it. I”m topping or sex doesn't happen at all. You'll get off, promise.” 

Chris sighs. “Alright but next time it's my turn. 

Jensen nods, he can handle that. Truth is, he loves being the bottom. It feels good for him, more than good but he wants to try the other way this time. They get the condom packet open and Chris rolls it down Jensen's cock. Chris gets on his knees and Jensen slides in as Chris winces, and he let's him adjust. Then they work out a rhythm, thrusting against each other. Chris seems to enjoy it once they get going and they both come, Chris first and Jensen after. When they're still coupled, there's a knock on the door and Jensen pulls out quickly, flopping down on the bed and covering himself up incase someone comes in. He prays it isn't Mackenzie. 

“Jensen. You coming down to help with dinner?,” Donna says through the door. 

“Yeah, mama. Be down in a few,” Jensen calls back. 

Chris' looks spooked as he crawls under the covers too. Face flushed but they have nothing to worry about because footsteps retreat. 

“She already knows,” Jensen tells him after a few quiet beats. 

“Seriously? And she's cool with it?,” Chris asks, looking surprised.

“Yeah, she's cool with it. It's not like she should be surprised anyway, I'm a male carrier. There was a chance I'd end up liking guys someday anyway,” Jensen tells him, shrugging. 

“You have the coolest mom,” Chris says with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, she is pretty cool,” Jensen says, smiling fondly. 

“Wanna watch Cartoon Network? Adventure time should be on,” Chris says as he gets up and starts putting back on his clothes. 

“Sure,” Jensen answers, grabbing the remote off the night stand and flicking on his twenty four inch flat screen. 

They watch cartoons for a bit, horseplaying around and joking. Much as they like sex with each other, they don't have feelings for one another. It just doesn't happen. Jensen hasn't suddenly fallen in love with Chris and Chris hasn't with him. It's good. It's the way it should be. Donna eyes them both critically before Chris leaves. Jensen knows she knows what they were doing, he feels color rise on his cheeks and turns to walk in the kitchen once Chris is gone. 

The kitchen is relaxing as Jensen and his mom move around, preparing things, it's easy between them. Teamwork. Jensen chops vegetables as Donna cuts up chicken, and prepares the sauce. Jensen sets up the pot of rice. Jensen has been cooking since he was ten, and he's pretty damn sure he's a good cook. The doorbell rings signaling that their guests have arrived. He hears Jared, Chad and his mom talking in the other room. He smiles to himself. 

“We'll be in the dining room. You okay in here?,” Donna asks her son.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Go chat,” Jensen tells her as he starts cooking all the ingredients. 

Minutes pass as Jensen finishes cooking the rice and turns off the burner. He hears footsteps approaching and turns, surprised to see Jared standing by the island table. He smiles. “Hey Mr. Padalecki.” 

“Dude, don't call me that. Just Jared is fine,” Jared says, making a face.

“Okay, _Jared_ ,” Jensen teases, rolling his eyes. “Dinner will be done soon.”

“Cool,” Jared says, leaning against the table. “I saw Mackenzie's seashell collection. They were quite beautiful, she definitely has a good one.”

“She prides herself on her shells,” Jensen says, and he agrees that it's a good collection. She's been picking them up and receiving them since she was four. She has at least two hundred of them. 

“ She has a reason to be, but now I'm wondering if I can see your photography,” Jared says casually. 

Jensen stirs the meat and veggies in the pan then shrugs his shoulders. “If you want. After dinner.”

\--------------------

Dinner is good. Conversation flows easily. Chad has a filthy mouth and Jared elbows him a few times, reminding him of his manners. Donna laughs and tells him she's heard worse at the emergency room. Jensen laughs too and Mackenzie snickers. Chad hits on Donna all through dinner, but he actually isn't entirely foul about it. He seems to be gunning for a serious date. Jared and Jensen leave his mom and Chad to do the dishes. Mackenzie retreats to the basement to practice her dance routine in her little studio that dad made for her before he died.

Jensen gets out his laptop as they sit on his bed and he loads up all the pictures he took recently and before. Jensen shows Jared pictures of sunsets, cars, animals, people and various other things. What he's most proud of at the moment is the frog he took a picture of in midair, in black and white contrast that he did in photoshop. The muted colors are deep and peaceful. 

“These are really good,” Jared says, obviously impressed. “This what you want to do with your life?” 

Jensen nods. “Yeah, I do. It's been a passion of mine for the last few years. Haven't been able to put down a camera since I discovered the joys of snapping photos.” 

“You should go with it, bet you end up doing photo sessions for celebrities and national geographic,” Jared praises.

“Now you're just flattering me,” Jensen mutters, as he continues to go through pictures and Jared's eyes are glued to the screen.

Jared turns to look at him. “Hey. I'm serious. You're talented, dude. Really. You have a future in this.” 

“Well, thanks,” Jensen says, giving a small smile. 

“I'd like for you to take some pictures for my new novel. Then if you're any good at graphic programs, you could piece the cover together in the way I want?,” Jared asks, turning his eyes back on the screen.

“That... I would be honored but I'm sure you'd want something more professional?,” Jensen hedges, feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

“No, I want you to do it,” Jared insists. “Don't know if you'll get any exposure but at least you'd be the cover art for a potential best seller?” 

Jensen chuckles. “Guess that wouldn't be so bad.”

“Not at all,” Jared says with a grin. 

“Speaking of taking pictures... would you find it too weird if I wanted to take pictures of you?,” Jensen asks shyly, looking down. 

Jared blinks, furrowing his brow. “Just of me?”

“Just of you,” Jensen confirms. 

“Alright, I can handle that. Anything specific?,” Jared asks.

Jensen really wants to say _'Please get naked.'_ but that would be weird coming from him so instead he says. “Maybe in a suit, then something casual and then more relaxed like pajamas or something. We could use your house as a layout, your back yard too. I could do a lot of interesting things with it.”

“You're the photographer, I'll go with whatever you want,” Jared says with a warm smile. 

Jensen closes all the programs running on his laptop then shuts down as Chad yells up the stairs for Jared he's heading home and come with him if he wants to.

“Guess I should be heading home,” Jared says as he stands. 

“Yeah,” Jensen says and looks up at him. 

“I had a really good time,” Jared says softly. “You have a really cool family.” 

“Yeah, they're awesome,” Jensen says with a fond smile. “Can I hug you?”

Jared blinks again, then laughs. “Why not?” 

Jensen stands and encircles his arms around Jared's middle, pulling him close and hugging him tight. “I'm really glad you moved here.”

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen's back and hugs back just as heart felt. Ruffling his hair. “Yeah, me too. Probably the best decision I've made in awhile.”

Jensen beams up at him and pulls away. Jared's hand strays through his hair for a moment, getting lost in the threads and finally pulling away as it drops to his side. He gets the feeling Jared moved miles away from home for a reason, but he won't push or even ask. “Moving here? Really?” He snorts.

“Really, I like this town. It's nice. Friendly, good people. Couldn't ask for more,” Jared says, shrugging. 

Jensen shakes his head. He's lived here all his life, but he supposes he can see the good in the place. Not a whole lot of crime or evil running around. It's pretty safe for the most of the people here. They walk down the stairs, he watches in amusement as Chad hugs him mom and lingers for a moment. His mom smiles, bopping the man on the nose and smacks his ass as he leaves out the door. Chad squeaks and goes _'She totally wants me.'_ Then Jared hugs her and leaves too. 

“Are you going to do him?,” Jensen asks, raising his eyebrow.

His mom smiles kind of mischievously. “Maybe.” 

“Awesome, you need to get laid. It'll do you some good,” Jensen tells her.

She smacks him in the arm. “Behave, son.” 

He looks at her in mock horror. “Hitting pregnant boys? Mom, you should be ashamed.” 

“Oh shush, it was a love tap. My grandchild will be perfectly fine,” She chides. 

Jensen feels lucky to have a mom like his. They've become more like close friends than mother and son since Alan's death, taking on the household and working together to better their lives. Not many kids can say their mom is their bestfriend. He really loves her.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen has been exhausted for the past three days. Between school work, laundry, cleaning and cooking, he feels so damn tired all the time. All he's been doing is crawling in bed at eight o clock at night after everything is finished and sleeping clear till the next morning. His entire body aches, so lethargic that he can't keep his eyes open even at school and a couple times he was woken by a classmate and teacher respectively. Face planted into his desk, hearing the snickers and laughter around him. He's not the kid who falls asleep, he's usually bright eyed and awake, diligently doing his schoolwork and he quietly pleads with the baby in his stomach to let daddy get through this without putting too much of a dent in his life. 

He keeps leaving his texts unanswered. His friends asking if he wants to go out: to the mall, to get some pizza, to paintball and as much as he wants to do those things. He knows he'll either throw up, or be too worried about getting a paintball to the stomach and having a miscarriage. He has a pregnancy book, that explains all the possible horrors, the joys and even some stuff after giving birth. He's been warned that the first trimester, there's always a possibility of losing the baby. Is it so strange that he's already attached? Because he is. He's already had one nightmare of standing in the middle of the hallway at school, looking down as blood soaks his pants and shirt, screaming to people to help him when he realizes his baby is gone and people looking at him like he's crazy. 

And as much as he worries, he needs to get up. Needs to do something. It's Sunday and he wasted his Saturday, sleeping, burrowed under the covers as he felt unusually cold. He goes through his text messages, laying in bed as he answers some with apologies and then comes across one from Jared.

 **Jared:** _hey im ready 2 get those photos taken whenever you are._  
Jensen replies: _ill be over an a half hour. be ready. casual._  
Six minutes later a reply comes back. **Jared:** ok. ill be ready. Gives me a lil time to finish sum of dis book. 

Jensen nods to the next message, even though he can't see it. He puts his cell on the nightstand and gets dressed in some warm clothes, a hoodie and a pair of jeans and doesn't bother with sneakers, just his warm fuzzy blue slippers. He knows he probably looks like a bum but he can't really care at this point, he'll take comfort over looking presentable, at least today. He goes in the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face three times to wake up, then grabs his camera and heads downstairs. He finishes off a container of strawberry banana yogurt and sits on the couch to veg out for the next twenty minutes, watching The Regular Show. He pleads with his body, hand over his stomach, to just keep down what little he's eaten. “It's not a hardship, just yogurt,” he tells his stomach as it rumbles unpleasantly. 

Twenty minutes later, he finds himself at Jared's door, knocking. He stands there awkwardly, it feels slightly different to be over his house without a party invite. Not awkward different, just strange in that way that he's friends with a man old enough to be his father. He's not complaining but every kid wants cool older people in their lives and he feels kinda lucky to end up with that. Jared finally opens the door, in relaxed jeans and a purple t-shirt that tightens across his shoulders, tight around his mid-section. Jensen knows his eyes rove over his body appreciatively, the man wears purple well. Like it was made for him but he stops himself from looking, slight blush rising to his cheeks. He doesn't want to end up making him uncomfortable. 

“Hey, come in,” Jared says with a smile as he walks away from the door. He's got sneakers on and Jensen thinks he'd prefer him without the shoes. Wants to see what his barefeet look like, he thinks a pair of feet can look sexy given the chance and he'd like for that to show up on camera.

Jensen follows him inside, shutting the door behind him, looking around the house. It's nice, furnished as he walks through, following Jared. The art lining the walls is interesting, and Jared leads him into a room in what he knows instantly is the living room. It's way better looking than his at home, makes his family's look humble as hell. He looks at movie posters, Sin City, Kill Bill, Friday The Thirteenth, and some others that he's seen before. Jared has tastes, but the living room is messy and despite Jensen's cleanliness issues, he smiles. “You're house is really nice, lived in,” he finally says. 

Jared turns to look at him. “Thanks. I try to make it look like someone lives here.”

Jensen nods. “I like that,” he says, tilting his head. 

Jared gives a small smile. “I'm happy you do.”

“Okay, so I'm going to survey your home and see where we can take pictures. I already know the back yard and deck is a perfect place for it. So give me a few minutes and I'll come back. Do whatever you want to do in the mean time,” Jensen says as he then realizes in horror. “... Sorry, I'm being intrusive. Is it okay if I look around?” 

Jared laughs. “Jensen, it's cool. Do your thing. Go snoop if you want to, just stay out of my dresser drawers or else you'll be scarred for life.” 

Jensen suddenly feels more at ease. “Okay, thanks but I'll have you know, now I'm curious about what you're hiding in your dresser.” 

“Just don't, Jen. It's for the best,” Jared says looking serious. 

Jensen raises his eyebrow and smirks. “Ah huh.” He leaves the room, listening to Jared yell something about he's serious then laughing. Jensen moves through the house, going from room to room. The room he ends up liking best is what he guesses is the rec room down in the basement. A pool table, weirdly shaped chairs of cotton and cushion in various colors. A sectional couch that's purple, a dart board, a bar, a big stereo system, fridge and a finished bathroom. He remembers the basement being a mess with bags and storage items but there had been the bathroom, unused bar and washer and dryer. Eitherway, it's a perfect starter. The lighting in the basement is good, he can see Jared draped over the couch, he can picture it perfectly in his mind. 

He goes back upstairs and sees Jared playing a video game on his television. It looks like The Last of Us. “Dude, I've wanted to play that but I haven't had the cash to get it.”

Jared startles and looks over, pausing the game. “Yeah? It's really good. I already finished it once, playing through again. The story is phenomenal.” 

“Stop it, now I want to get into the game,” Jensen says, itching to play instead of taking photos but that's not what he's here for.

Jared chuckles. “After our session?”

Jensen nods. “After our session.”

Jensen tells him where he wants to take pictures. They go down into the basement and Jared is a natural at having his photos taken. He smiles easy, makes his face slack when needed, half smirks and expressive eyes that change colors. He takes cues well and Jensen knows these are going to come out really good. A few times he can't help thinking how much he wants to lay back on the couch with Jared , snuggle up to him or sit in his lap when he's in one of the chairs. He gets him leaning over with a pool stick in hand and standing at the bar, his arms stretched out in front of him and hands down on the counter. The bottles of alcohol on the racks in the back in various colors that he knows will pop out when he uses Photoshop. 

Jensen tells Jared go change in his swim trunks and grab whatever he wears to bed, so he doesn't have to go upstairs again. Jared complies. They take pictures on the back deck, he wants to get ones in the pool but he can save that for next time, he doesn't want Jared to be wet for the next ones. Things go smoothly and they make it to the living room, where Jared is dressed in boxers tat say there's a party downstairs across the waist and a plain grey t-shirt. Jensen moves forward, leaning up on his tippy toes to mess up his hair and attempts giving Jared that 'Just woke up' look. He thinks these ones will be the best, the way Jared manages to look sleepy and half asleep, and asleep. 

He's about to suggest they go upstairs and take pictures in his bedroom, when his stomach suddenly churns and he's coughing, gagging. 

Jared looks alarmed, getting up off the couch in an instant. “You okay?”

Jensen shakes his head as he crouches over, bile and the earlier yogurt coming to the surface. Puke pours from his mouth onto the carpet and he falls to his knees, unable to keep his balance. Hands pushing down the earth as he dry heaves, stomach concave, rippling and cramping. “Oh god,” he moans. 

Jared leaves the room and comes back a few seconds later, with a grocery bag and paper towels.

Jensen sits on his ass, trying to make the nausea pass and closes his eyes. “I'm so sorry.” 

“It's okay,” Jared says as he starts cleaning up the mess. 

Jensen opens his eyes, a little mortified. “You don't have to do that. Give it here.” He moves to take the items from Jared's hands but the man doesn't let him.

“It's okay,” Jared tells him, as he continues. “If you're sick, you should have told me. We could have done this another day.” 

Jensen sighs. “I'm not sick. I'm pregnant,” he blurts out, instantly regretting it. He closes his eyes for a moment and feels stupid. Brain to mouth filter definitely off. 

Jared looks over and blinks once, then twice. “Pregnant? Seriously?” 

Jensen nods. “Yeah...I know I'm young but male carriers can conceive sometimes they're... yeah.”

“Come on, let's get on on the couch and then I'll make you something light to eat,” Jared tells him as he helps Jensen off the ground and eases him onto the couch. 

“I'm not hungry,” Jensen protests. Feeling tired again.  
“You need to eat something,” Jared insists quietly as he leaves the room.

Jensen leans back against the couch, checking his camera to make sure he didn't get any throw up on it, when he realizes he didn't, he sighs in relief. Jared comes back ten minutes later with a tray and sets it up with the kick stands out over Jensen's lap. 

“Chicken and rice soup, a few crackers. Should stay down, right?,” Jared says, sitting down next to him gently. 

Jensen looks down at the deep red bowl and nods. He is kinda hungry, despite the fact that his body won't let him keep anything down. He takes a tentative sip, feeling awkward and dumb. “I know, I'm stupid. I know I shouldn't be having a kid this young.” He feels like he has to say it.

“I'm not thinking you're stupid or anything like that, Jen,” Jared says softly. “I'm just really surprised is all.” 

“I know, but I feel stupid sometimes. Like... I don't know. Like I've possibly ruined my life,” Jensen admits, continuing to look down at the soup bowl.

“A child doesn't ruin lives. It's a blessing,”:Jared tells him, reaching out to put a hand on Jensen's shoulder. “Who's the father? If you don't mind me asking.” 

Jensen can feel warmth radiating from Jared's hand, it's comforting. “My bestfriend. Chris. We started experimenting a year ago. Just doing some stuff together. Then we had sex without condoms and neither of us thought I could get pregnant even though we both knew I was a carrier. It was irresponsible.” 

Jared drops his hand. “I can understand that. You get curious, you do stuff, shit happens. It's nothing you can help now. I hope I'm not being offensive when I asked... but what made you want to keep your kid if you're afraid you're ruining your life?” 

Jensen turns to look at him then looks down. Pursing his lips. “Guess it might have to do with being a christian or just my own beliefs. In God's eyes a baby is a baby in conception, and I agree. It's a life. It's not fair to kill it when it didn't ask to be conceived. It's not right. It's the same as having a baby, raising it for a few years and deciding: Hey, I don't want this anymore and then stoning it to death.” 

Jared is quiet for a few minutes. “That's a very … responsible way of looking at it. So, you're not entirely irresponsible. It was just a bad case of misjudgment.” 

Jensen shrugs. “Suppose so.”

“You're not ruining your life,” Jared says, reaching forward to press his index finger underneath Jensen's chin and lift his head. 

“I know,” Jensen says, smiling a little.

“And you're not going to be alone but does your mom know?,” Jared asks, dropping his figure.

He nods. “Yeah, she does and she said the same thing. I mean, she was disappointed but now she's kinda happy she'll be getting a grandchild.” 

“That's good,” Jared murmurs. “I've always wanted kids but I never find the right person to settle down with. Not to mention male carriers are rare and I'm gay as a rainbow flag halter top on a drag queen.”

Jensen laughs. “Colorful. I'm sure you'll find someone to give you kids someday.” He's sorta surprised that Jared is gay, but it's not something to marvel over. It's kinda nice that he'll possibly have someone to go to when he has questions about things later in life. 

“Maybe. Can I be the kid's favorite Uncle?,” Jared asks, grinning. 

Jensen smiles. “Sure, you'll make a great Uncle. Uncle Jared sounds nice.” 

“And I'll be there for you every step of the way. Anything you need and I'll get it for you. Anything,” Jared tells him. 

Jensen's cheeks flare up a little. “You don't have to do that.”

“Hey, I'm serious. I know we've only known each other for a week but I really mean it, Jensen. I feel like I've got a friend in you and I'm there for my friends. I know you have your family but let me be another person you can lean on. Okay?,” Jared says softly, 

Jensen nods slowly. “Okay... Okay..” Jensen's heart warms and he smiles lopsidedly at Jared. “You're kinda awesome, you know that?”

Jared rolls his eyes. “I know I am. People just don't often see it.”

“And full of yourself too,” Jensen teases. 

Jared flutters his lashes. “When you know greatness, you live it. That's how I roll.” 

Jensen laughs. “Whatever you say.” 

Jared smiles. “Guess we're done for the day. Still want to play The Last of Us?” 

Jensen nods. “Hell yes. I'd love to.” 

Jared sets up the playstation and hands Jensen the controller. Jensen plays for three hours, curled up against Jared's side as the man gives him instructions when stuck on certain parts and Jensen feels more at ease than he has in awhile.

\--------------------

Things become different after that. Jensen goes into his fourth month of pregnancy and Jared does his best to help. He watches as Jensen's stomach grows, like a little cantaloupe protruding outward. Jensen has his shirt off a few times when they swim in the pool, and Jared marvels over the tiny baby bump, feeling like a perv. He knows he's attracted to him, and he knows he shouldn't be. Jared has never gone after teenagers, even though he's met a few that were insanely attractive but they always looked older. Jensen mostly looks his age, but he's so goddamn beautiful and his smiles are breathtaking. Jared can't help but being pulled to him but the more he does, the more he feels like a potential child molester and he feels guilty since he's friends with Donna too. He couldn't imagine what she'd say if she knew he felt this way about her son. So, he doesn't say anything and doesn't feel like he's going to hurt anyone. It's just a phase, he's sure he'll get over it.

He's on his seventh chapter in the book, he's happy with the way it is. Strangely enough he decided to make his hero a male carrier, he thinks about the possibility of ending up with the kid getting impregnated by aliens at some point or something else along those lines. Jensen is the inspiration, and he thinks he'll be flattered if he ever finds out or maybe a little creeped out or even pissed. He never knows how people will feel when they inspire things in his characters or other parts of a book when he needs some creative juices flowing. 

It's three in the morning, when his phone vibrates on the end table. He stops typing and picks it up, swiping his finger across the screen.

 **Jensen:** _i cant sleep_  
Jared replies back: _want to cum over?_  
 **Jensen:** _mom might kill me_  
 **Jared:** _sure she wont care if u cum c me_  
 **Jensen:** _also hav skool_  
 **Jared:** _not till one_  
 **Jensen::** _oky but I want ice cream and ranch dressing do u got sum?_  
 **Jared:** _u ate it all but we can go get sum_  
 **Jensen:** _oky cumin over_

Jensen comes in ten minutes later, looking sleep rumpled and adorable as hell. Jared can tell he's tired, he flops down on the couch beside him and looks over at his laptop screen. 

“Writing your new novel?,” Jensen asks, pressing his face into Jared's shoulder. 

“Yes, sir,” Jared replies, typing away on the keys. 

“I thought we were going to go get my grub,” Jensen whines a little.

“Let me finish this paragraph and we'll go get you everything your heart desires, princess,” Jared tells him, chuckling. 

Jensen nods. “Okay, but don't call me princess.” 

“You are a princess. A pretty pretty princess fairy,” Jared teases, not looking away from his screen.

“You're so mean to me,” Jensen complains. “Can I at least be a prince?” 

“Yes, I'm a terrible person and you can be a prince, but you're still a fairy,” Jared says, elbowing him in his side gently. 

“I can deal with that,” Jensen says, poking him. 

Jared saves, and shuts down his laptop. “Let's go, fairy prince. Your feast awaits.”  
They're at the wal-mart. Jared pushing a cart as Jensen childishly sits in it, legs crossed and pointing him down aisles. They didn't really need the cart, but Jensen wanted to get in one. Jared is amused, he supposes Jensen is still a kid and sometimes he forgets that because he doesn't seem like it. They get his ice cream and ranch dressing, and Jared still doesn't really get it, he can't see how the two items mixed together will taste any good. He tried it once because Jensen prodded him and ended up gagging with the boy laughing at him. No matter what kinda cravings he gets, Jared isn't trying anything again no matter how much Jensen wants him to. 

“Feel like getting some games?,” Jared asks him as he turns the cart and runs down the aisle suddenly. The cart making a constant dinging noise against the ground as he goes.

Jensen lifts his arms, yelling whee as people look at them funny. Jared doesn't care, they're here at almost four o'clock in the morning too. The night is when the weirdos come out and they're all definitely weirdos. “Yes, anything to keep me from being bored.” 

Jared pushes them into the electronics section, looking over the games. Jared gets Resident Evil six and the new madden and he makes Jensen pick out a game even though he doesn't want to, so they end up with Bioshock infinite too. They go home and play video games until seven in the morning, when Jensen ends up passed out on the couch and Jared puts a blanket over him and brushes his fingers across his sleeping face, wondering if it's wrong to have a kid so young for his bestfriend.

\--------------------

Jensen is four and a half months along. His stomach is starting to get in the way of his clothes, he needs maternity but they can't afford it right now and Jared already does too much for him. So, he sticks to sweatpants and wears his mom's leggings around the house even though he feels like an idiot for doing so. He has a tutor now, he comes everyday at one o'clock and stays for an hour and a half giving him assignments and going over things with him. He's a nice man and he knows why Jensen isn't in school, so far he hasn't been judgmental but sometimes he'll look at Jensen in this weird way and it'll make him uncomfortable.

He hasn't hung out with Chris in awhile. They keep making plans to do so, but Jensen ends up chickening out and canceling on him. He can tell Chris feels abandoned when they talk on the phone but he's afraid Chris will find out especially since they horse play too much and he'll end up freaking out and tell him to stop. Chris keeps asking him why won't he see him and Jensen keeps dodging, trying his hardest to avoid that conversation. Chris calls him in the evening and Jensen answers, feeling like he has to tell him or else. He's been keeping it from him for so long, he doesn't like lying to him. He's Chris, his friend since first grade and he doesn't deserve it. Not to mention, it's his kid too. He has a right to know. 

“Chris,”Jensen breathes, stopping the other boy from rumbling on about the band he finally got together with Steve and some other people he doesn't know. 

“Also my parents got me this new guitar amp, it's awes-what?,” Chris stops mid-sentence. 

“I'm pregnant,” Jensen says, feeling his insides twist up. 

The line is quiet. Just their breathing and Jensen's afraid Chris will end up hanging up or stop talking to him. 

“Are you fucking serious? Who was it? I thought only we were messing around, you never told me about anyone else,” Chris says in a rush.

“Chris,” Jensen says quietly. 

It's silent again then... “Oh... oh shit. Are you getting rid of it?”

Jensen suddenly feels angry. Why does everyone think he should abort his child? It's fucking amazing the way people act like a kid is a death sentence. It's not for crying out loud. “No,” he hisses. “I'm not doing that even if you ask.” 

“Okay, calm down. I was just asking,” Chris says, surprise coloring his voice. “I gotta tell my parents.”

“Please don't, they're not going to like it,” Jensen admonishes, closing his eyes in fear. 

“Jensen. I've got to. They're not going to like the whole gay thing either, but I can't keep this from them. What am I going to do when they baby gets there? Pretend I don't have a kid?,” Chris says, a little pleading in his voice.

“They'll keep you away from me and it,” Jensen tells him, sighing. 

“No they won't... besides, they need to know that I'm going to be a man about it and be there for you guys, maybe they'll help out when we need things,” Chris says softly. 

Jensen is floored by his words. He thought with Chris being fourteen, he'd end up not wanting to be a part of this. That he was immature enough to walk away and decide it wasn't worth his time. “Thank you for not being mad.”

“Why would I get mad? We did it together, it's my responsibility too,” Chris answers, chuckling lightly. 

“I'm glad you see it that way,” Jensen says, with a small smile. 

“So, how far along are you?,” Chris asks.

“Four and a half months, well almost five in just week or so. You should see my stomach, I look bloated, dude,” Jensen replies, all too happy to answer the question. 

“Haha, you're getting fat,” Chris jokes. 

“Shut up, I'm not fat,” Jensen says, rolling his eyes. 

“Is it a boy or girl?” 

“Don't know yet, go in a week and a half to find out.”

“I'll be there,” Chris promises. 

“That would make me very happy,” Jensen says, elated. 

They talk for the next two hours. About silly things such as what they're going to teach the baby and Chris pretty much says they're playing an instrument as soon as they're old enough. No kid of his is going to go through life without experiencing the joys of song. Jensen just laughs and says okay, he can get behind that.

\--------------------

Jensen is nervous, his appoint is a couple days away and he doesn't know what to expect. Donna tries qualming his fears and he just wants everything to be okay, he doesn't want bad news but then again, he's only going for a sonogram, so he doesn't know why hes freaking out so much. He hasn't heard from Chris in a week, they talked for a couple days on and off, before he told his parents but he has a feeling that when he did, they exploded on him and now he won't see Chris ever again.

It's two in the morning and Jensen is craving barbequed cucumbers and ribs with ranch dressing, ranch dressing has pretty much become his favorite thing. He texts Jared as much and he tells him come over. He asks his mom if he can and she tells him yes, that she's feeling kinda hungry too so maybe she'll come over as well. Jared already has the grill fired up when he goes over there and he hugs Jared from behind.

“You're like my favorite person,” Jensen tells him.

Jared relaxes against his hold. “Oh really?” 

“Yes, really,” Jensen tells him, inhaling deeply. Jared smells like autumn, earth that's wet and liquid leaves. A hint of spice, pumpkins and apples. He's reminded of an orchard and now he has the urge to go pick apples or go to some pumpkin patch fair somewhere. It's November afterall. 

“That gives me a happy,” Jared says, flipping over a burger. 

Jensen let's go and goes around to his side. The smell of charcoal and food invades his senses and he inhales again. Smells had been making him sick, but lately they've been doing him a favor and making everything wonderful in his nostrils. Jensen flops down in a lawn chair and looks up at the star filled sky, feeling at at more peace than he has all week. 

Two hours later, the ribs are almost done and Jensen thinks his mom isn't coming but she does come. In her bright pink pajamas with little polar bears and her yellow tank top. She tells them she can't sleep and makes a salad, claiming Jensen needs to eat stuff besides the junk he's been putting in himself and Jensen tries to tell her that veggies have been making him kinda nauseated, which is a lie. He just doesn't want to eat his vegetables. 

They eat with easy chatter. Donna talks about her last week at work and Jared talks about how his novel is going and how excited he is that it'll be finished soon. Jensen has been mainly taking pictures of everyone and everything to pass the time when he's bored. It's been relatively normal for everyone. 

Donna turns to Jared with a fond look on her face, warm smile. “I just want to say thank you for taking care of my baby.” 

Jared blinks and ducks his head a little. “It's nothing. Jensen keeps me company and I'm glad to have him as a friend.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Stop being modest, you're wonderful.”

Jared just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. “I believe you guys would do the same if I was in Jensen's situation.” 

Donna nods. “You're right about that, darling.” 

Jensen mmms around a bite of rib and ranch, he swallows. “Definitely.” 

Jared grins. “See, told you.” 

Jensen thinks about what Jared said not too long ago, that it was the one of the best decisions he made in a long time to move here and Jensen has to agree. If Jared hadn't, he wouldn't have met him and Jensen can't really think of a life without Jared in it. It would feel so lonely and empty. He knows it.

\--------------------

The phone rings in his ear. Usually Chris picks up when it's him but that's not happening and then the ringing stops.

“Hello? Who is this?,” Mrs. Kane's voice comes across the line. 

Jensen is surprised and hearing her voice can only mean one thing. Chris got his cell taken away. “It's Jensen. Can I talk to Chris?” 

“Don't call him again, you little whore,” Mrs. Kane's voice says with venom and then the line goes dead. 

Jensen stares at the phone, tears springing to his eyes. Mrs. Kane has never said a bad word about him or to him in his life. The woman would make her famous chocolate chip cookies and send them over with Chris because she knew he loved them so much and then there were times in the last couple years that she paid for his school pictures or school supplies when his mom couldn't. She's never ever been mean to him and the fact that she is, makes him feel like he really messed up. 

He gets up from the couch and goes into the computer room where his mom is sitting down and tears roll down his cheeks. “I just called Chris and his mom …” He takes a deep breath, trying to keep a sob at bay. He damns his out of whack hormones. “I told Chris about being pregnant and he must have told his parents. Because I just called him and Mrs. Kane answered and called me a whore.”

Donna turns to look at him, face setting into hard lines. “I told you not to but she had no right to call you that. It's as much as Chris' fault as it is yours.” 

“What do I do? I want Chris to be a part of his baby's life and never seeing him again? It hurts, mama,” Jensen says, feeling his chest constrict painfully. 

“We're going to go over and talk to them,” Donna says as she gets up and walks past her son. 

The ride to Chris' house is silent until his mom turns up the radio on some popular music station. Jensen cringes at the bubble gum songs and the no morals rap music but then he reminds himself he didn't have morals a few months ago when he decided he was old enough to have sex. Still doesn't make the music any better though. 

They pull up and Jensen's stomach plummets because he doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to face Chris' parents but his mom is out of the car with a come on and he follows her to do the door almost stumbling. She knocks and the door opens to reveal Mrs. Kane, her hair done up in curlers, wearing a house coat. She looks surprised to see them standing there. 

“You're son and my son got in this together and we're going to sit down and talk about this like rational adults,” Donna says firmly.

“There's nothing to talk about,” Mrs. Kane says coldly as Chris appears behind her. 

“Let them in, mom. You're being stupid about this,” Chris says 

Mrs. Kane's lips set in a hard line and she nods curtly like she can't deny her son. Pushing aside as Jensen and his mom move through the door. 

They're sitting on the couch, Chris beside Jensen and Donna on the other side, across from Mr. and Mrs. Kane. 

“If you hadn't tempted my son, you little shit. This never would have happened,” Mr. Kane says, the first to speak.

Jensen narrows his eyes and tries not to mouth off, knowing it won't help anything. Donna doesn't look any happier. 

Chris decides to do it for him. “You won't talk to him like that. It's not all his doing. I'm the one who suggested we start messing around and he agreed to it. I'm in this too, dad.” 

Mrs. Kane sighs. “Okay, maybe we're being immature about this but you're fourteen, Chris. Fourteen And you're too young to worry about a baby. Jensen should be aborting the baby instead of keeping it. I can't stand by and let you waste your life.” 

There goes someone else suggesting he get rid of his baby. It pisses him off, but he imagines a zipper in his mind moving across his lips and cutting him off from speaking up. 

Mr. Kane nods in agreement. “You're too young, son. Too young. You shouldn't even have been having sex in the first place, let alone gay sex.” 

Donna finally speaks. “They shouldn't have been engaging in sexual acts at such a young age. So, I agree, they should have never started having sex. It was certainly a bad decision on both their parts but they're stuck in this and we have to let it run it's course. They have to take responsibility.” 

Mr. Kane looks like he bit something that tastes bad. “I'm not letting my son have anything to do with that. Infact, from here on out he's not even allowed to associate with Jensen and he'll have nothing to do with the baby.” 

“Yes, I will. It's my kid too,” Chris says angrily, mouth set in a hard line. 

“Not as long as I'm living and breathing, you won't,” Mr. Kane fires back. 

Jensen's eyes water and he looks away. He can't believe they're being so adamant about this. He'll have to go through this alone, but then that's not true. He has his family and Jared. He won't but he wants so bad for Chris to be there. To be a part of his baby's life. Is that too much to ask for?

Chris takes a deep breath. “You can't stop me. I'm going to be there for everything. I want to, don't do this to me.” 

Jensen turns his head, feeling strengthened by Chris' words. “Please. I don't want my child growing up without knowing his other father. It would be wrong.” 

“No. Daniel has spoken. Chris won't have anything to do with it,” Mrs. Kane says firmly. 

“You people make me fucking sick,” Donna hisses out, getting up. “Come on, Jensen. We're going home.” She storms out of the room. 

Jensen stands and so does Chris, following them out.

“Get back here and sit your ass down, boy,” Mr. Kane yells after Chris.

“Hold your fucking horses, I'm seeing them out,” Chris tells him.

“You watch your language, young man” Mrs. Kane cries. 

Chris rolls his eyes and follows Jensen to the door. “I'm grounded right now. Ontop of the whole having a kid, they don't like the gay thing and think I _caught_ it from you and it'll go away if we don't see each other.” 

Jensen sighs. “I know you want to be there, that's more than enough for me and when you can come around, I'll be waiting.” 

“Even if they won't let me come around now. I'll be eighteen in fours years. We'll get a house together and raise whoever she or he is. I promise,” Chris says, moving forward to hug him tight. Jensen returns the hug and Chris stills, then pulls back with a look of awe on his face. His hands going down to Jensen's stomach to feel the swelling there. “It's kinda cool we made a baby together. I should be scared but I'm not.” 

Jensen laughs and nods. “I know the feeling. Call me when you can,” he whispers. 

Chris smirks. “When I get my cellphone back. I expect full reports.”

“Aye aye captain,” Jensen quips, saluting him. He turns to leave but Chris' hand reaches out to stop him short and Jensen turns to look. 

“You know, I love you, right? Not like that but I do, Jen. I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.” Chris says softly.

“Ditto, Chrissy Bear. Definite Ditto,” Jensen responds. He finally gets in the car, his mother is pissed and he feels sad. Despite the fact that he knows that Chris isn't the one who wants to keep him away, he cries anyway.

\--------------------

Jared is both surprised and touched when Jensen asks him to come with him to his doctor's appointment. Donna can't get off from work and she's upset but she tells him she's thankful that Jared will be there with him and she can't wait to see the sonogram. Jensen seems nervous the whole ride there, fidgeting and not speaking a word to Jared. He doesn't mind, he understands. Seeing a baby with a potential sex will make it all the more real instead of bite sized peanuts on screen. When they walk in, Jared ends up feeling weird. Here is he with a pregnant teenager and people might end up thinking he's the father. Which would not only lead to jail time, but he can't help worrying what people would think of him if it were true. Jensen gets in a gown and sets down on the table, the Sonographer isn't in yet and Jensen is kinda tense.

“Relax. You're just seeing the baby, nothing to worry about,” Jared tells him soothly.

“I know, but what if it's innersex or sexless? What if she tells us it's a girl but it turns out there's something wrong or it's a hermaphrodite?,” Jensen says, admitting his fears.

“Will you love him or her any less?,” Jared asks, wondering just how much Jensen has thought about this. 

Jensen scoffs. “No, of course not but I don't want my kid to end up feeling different. What would I say to something like that?” 

“You'd say you're no different than anyone else and God made you special. Love them no matter what and show them it's okay to be that way,” Jared admonishes softly. 

Jensen nods. “Okay. Thank you. I'm a little less jittery.”

Jared smiles fondly and reaches out to take Jensen's hand, giving it a light squeeze. “It'll be okay, Jen.” 

Jensen smiles back. “I should know that but I can't help worrying.”

Before Jared can answer, the door opens and the sonographer comes back. A petite woman with auburn hair up in a ponytail. She sits on a stool by the bed. “Hello you two. I'm Erica. Pleasant afternoon?”

“Yeah. Yourself?” Jensen says turning his head to look at her. 

“Been a good day, you're my fifth appointment and I'm no less excited to see what we have in store for you,” She says with a friendly smile as she boots up the machine. It takes a few moments, then she reaches forward. “Just gonna lift up your gown and put some gel on it. It's a little cold.”

Jensen nods. “I know.” Jared knows it isn't his first sonogram, but by the way Jensen's acting. He's never seen her before, so she must be different or new. 

She lifts up the gown, places the blanket over below his torso and smooths the gel on with her hand. She looks at Jared, apprehensively. “Are you the father?” 

Jared shakes his head. “No, I'm not.”

“Yeah, he's just a friend,” Jensen finishes for him. 

She nods, looking more relaxed. Jared kinda wants to call her on her judgmental lapse but he understands, really, he'd be concerned. It's not like this is the Middle East where such a huge age gape is okay in marriages. He watches as she picks up the wand and presses it to Jensen's stomach, lowing it a little. “Okay, let's see... looks like they're hiding a bit here. Let's see if we can get them to move.” She does something that Jared doesn't really get, but the baby moves on screen and looks kinda like it turns toward them. It's bigger than the other sonograms Jared has seen. Definitely taking form into having limbs and a head. “Do you want to know the sex?” 

“Yes,” Jensen breathes. Jared can feel it in Jensen's hand, he's shaking a little. He squeezes his hand again and Jensen squeezes back. Jared's starting to get excited himself, he wants to know too.

“Well, Mr. Ackles. It looks like you have a girl. Congrats,” She says, beaming at Jensen.

Jensen sniffs once, then twice and Jared can tell he's already crying. “Fuck these damn emotions.” 

Jared laughs, along with Erica. “Why are you crying?”

Jensen runs a hand over his face. “I want Chris to be here. He should be here.”

“I'm here,” Jared says, circling his thumb against Jensen's wrist. 

Jensen nods, eyes red rimmed. “I know, thank you.” 

Jared leans forward and kisses him on the forehead. Jensen blinks in surprise then leans up and kisses Jared on the jaw. “Chris will come around soon.”

Jensen nods. 

“Do you want a picture?,” Erica asks,. smiling softly at them.

Jensen nods eagerly. “Please?” 

She chuckles. “Of course, sugar. You should have a picture of your precious bundle.”

They get the picture and leave. As they're in the car, heading home. Jared knows food will cheer the boy up.

“Want to get ice cream?,” He asks, already making a turn to go down to the local diary queen. 

“Fuck yes. Please,” Jensen says. “Oh, think she agrees too. She just fluttered around like a little hairball.” 

“Is she kicking yet?,” Jared asks, curious.

“Not yet but she will soon,” Jensen says, looking fondly down at his stomach as he cups his hands against it and Jared ends up looking at him fondly while he's not looking. 

They get two large swirl cones of chocolate and vanilla. Sitting outside at a picnic table across from each other. 

“Chris always gets the oreo blizzard and I always get this,” Jensen says, licking at his cone in a way that should be illegal. 

And Jared, embarrassed, feels his crotch tighten as he watches, so he looks away. “I've always gotten this since I was a kid. I used to go down to Diary Queen with my grandparents and siblings on Saturdays, and we'd all sit inside, listening to the jukebox as we ate.”

Jensen gives a small smile. “I used to go with my dad, just us and I'd get the same thing too. Everytime. He even tried to get me to try something different one time and I wasn't having it. I was like eight years old and threw a fit even though I didn't have to. I used to be such a hot headed kid... not that I'm not a kid but you know what I mean.” 

Jared chuckles. “I know.” They smile at each other, finish up and go home. 

When they get in, Donna is home with the flu apparently and she's camped out on the couch, watching daytime television. Jensen and Jared sit down as Jensen takes out the sonogram and hands it to her.

Donna looks it over with a happy look on her face. “They're turning out so beautifully. I can't wait to finally see them.”

“ _She_ is a girl,” Jensen says, grinning.

Donna tilts her head and beams her smile wide. “I'm getting another girl. I'm so happy and proud of you.” 

Jensen looks pleased, slight blush coloring his cheeks. 

“Looks like we gotta go shopping,” Jared says, leaning against the arm rest.

Jensen shakes his head. “No, you've already done enough.”

“I told you. I'm going to be there for everything and that includes buying stuff for the baby. I'm not trying to be offensive but your mom already works so hard to provide for you guys and I doubt you're going to have the money to get everything you need,” Jared insists, determined to get him to understand. 

“You're right, and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It'd be nice to not have to worry about all the expenses,” Donna says, looking relieved.

Jensen sighs. “I've got some money saved up, so I'll buy a couple things but fine. I'll let you spoil her rotten. You're going to be her favorite Uncle anyway.” 

Jared pumps his fist victoriously, getting his way never felt so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this fic keeps talking about food and it does. I have no clue why I wrote so many food scenes. Blame not having food at the end of the month? or Jensen being pregnant, yeah, we'll go with that. lol. Anyway, apologies if you're getting tired of it.


	4. Chapter 4

The Holiday spirit is in the air. It's two weeks before Christmas, Jared and Jensen are decorating the tree at Jensen's house. It's festive and homey, just feels good. He lifts Jensen up so he can put the angel ontop of the tree. When he puts him back down, Jensen turns around and looks up at him with a smile. He puts his hands on Jared's shoulders and leans up to kiss him softly on the cheek then hugs him. Jared feels warm all over as he wraps his arms around his small frame and hugs him tight to him. He can feel his belly pressed against him, there's a slight kick and it makes his heart pitter patter in his chest.

“Think she likes me,” Jared says quietly.

“She moves a lot when you're talking or near,” Jensen tells him, lifting his head to look up. Eyes wide and expressive.

“That makes me feel good,” Jared admits, feeling lost in the green with flecks of gold. He's never seen more beautiful eyes.

Donna clears her throat and .Jared automatically let's go, feeling guilty for some reason. Donna just grins. “I'm done putting the decals on the windows. We done in here?” 

“Yeah, all finished. Angel is on the tree,” Jensen says, giving Jared a sidelong glance.

“It looks really nice. Mack will be happy when she sees it,” Donna claims. “You guys up for a game of Scrabble?” 

“Haven't played that in awhile. Would be nice,” Jared tells her.

Jensen nods. “Wouldn't mind either.” 

“I'll be in the dining room setting up,” Donna says as she leaves the room. 

Jared blinks when he feels Jensen pressed up against him, hugging him once more from the side. “It's really nice to have you here. Usually we have to use the ladder since dad isn't here to lift me or Mack anymore.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Jared says, smiling softly. Jensen is warm at his side and he instantly misses it when he let's go and walks out into the hallway, leaving him alone.

But he doesn't feel alone. He really doesn't.

\--------------------

It's two days before Christmas. Jensen, Mackenzie and Jared are sitting on the front porch of the Ackles house and sipping on hot chocolate. Bundled up with beanies and snow caps on. Donna is somewhere in the house, taking a nap and Jared misses his friends like a missing limb. Chad called from Cali, telling him about his pilot that's due to come out on TNT and that Jared should watch it. Of course he is, he'll support Chad even from a distance and he knows he's a good actor, so it'll be great to watch him on screen. He talked to Sandy three days ago, she found the man of her dreams and two months in? She's already planning to marry him. The wedding date is set for the middle of January and he has already promised to go. It'll be nice being back there for a little while, just to see his friends and family even though he feels a little jittery over it.

Sophia and Jeff have apparently decided to get together, after years of dancing around one another and Jared doesn't know how to feel about that, the two are so different from each other. He doesn't know how it'll work out but he knows the feelings are real. Jeff never went after Soph because she's Jared's friend and and five years younger than Jeff. Which is kinda stupid, but he supposes when she was a teenager, he could understand it. 

He wishes he could be there for these things, see how their lives are going and being a part of it but what he has here is good. He plays poker on Saturdays with Ted Kennedy and his friends. It's kinda nice, he loses on purpose since he really doesn't need the money. Henry Roland knows he does it and gives Jared a secret smile everytime, but the man never tells anyone else. Sometimes, he hangs out with Susan Walker, and plays with her daughter, Taylor. The girl has a crush on him, she's eight and it's adorable. She draws for him and he promises to put them on his fridge and he does. Sometimes she comes over with baked goods and Taylor excitedly tells him he's the best when she sees her drawings on the fridge. And then he has the Ackles. So, it's nice. He's not sad, he's not drowning in despair. Having a new start isn't a bad thing at all. 

Mackenzie gets up after finishing her hot chocolate and carefully puts her cup on the porch. She runs out into the snow, and starts grabbing hand fulls and rolling them into balls. The next thing he knows, he has a snowball to the face. It stings like a bitch, the white clumps fall down into his hot chocolate and he wipes a hand over his face sputtering. “You little brat,” Jared says with a laugh.

“Come on! Snowball fight. Me and Jensen verses you,” Mackenzie says cheerfully. 

“You're on,” Jared tells her as he puts down his cup and gets up, running into the front yard.

Jensen laughs. “Okay, but you guys have to watch my stomach.” 

As Jared builds his little fort of snow, Jensen and Mack do the same. It takes him longer and before he can finish, he's being pelted by snowballs from all directions. He takes off around the house, gathering snow and trying to shape them before he gets caught again but once again, they're on him and he gets them to the face, his arms, his stomach and everywhere else. “This is unfair, you two. You're not even giving me an inch.”

“Unfair my ass. Together, we're still younger than you. We make one person,” Jensen chastises. 

“At least give me some time to make some balls,” Jared complains, as he gets another snowball to his cheek from Mack. 

“No way, you'll win,” Mack accuses. 

“Please?,” Jared says, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

Jensen scoffs. “Big baby but fine. Go make your fort and we'll give you a little time. You got fifteen minutes. Give us warning before you start. Only fair.” 

“Will do,” Jared snickers, heading back out as he finishes up in a record five and starts making snowballs. He doesn't warn them before he's throwing snowballs, he knows he could throw them harder but he doesn't. 

He is aware of Jensen's tummy and makes sure to keep them far away from there. Instead going for his face, it becomes red as a Christmas bulb and he laughs as Jensen becomes competitive and goes after him. It devolves into an all out war, they're all laughing and chasing each other. The kids have an advantage, so he damns their winnings and Jared can't take anymore after so long and falls to the ground backwards, panting from exertion. 

“Giving up already?,”Mack asks, coming to stand over him with her hands on her hips. 

“You got me. I'm done. No more. My body hurts and I'm freezing,” Jared says, mouth gaped open as his whole body stings. Maybe he should have wore a few more shirts instead of just a coat and one. His clothes have wet spots all over them and it feels kinda weird.

“Get up off the ground and come in the house then. I'll make more hot chocolate,” Jensen tells as he throws one more snowball at his chest and it sticks there.

Jared groans and closes his eyes. “Getting up in a moment.” They leave him, the sound of their steps crunching in the snow as they leave him. He lays there quietly for a minute and then gets up, he sniffs, nose kinda runny and walks into the house. 

He takes off his coat and hangs it up, then his shoes as well so he doesn't track into the house. He walks into the kitchen, where Jensen is setting up the tea kettle with water and turning on the burner. 

Jared's teeth continue to chatter, it's warm in the house but the cold is deep in his bones. 

“You should go take a warm shower,” Jensen says, turning to face him.

“I'll be fine,” Jared replies before he suddenly sneezes and gets snot all over his nose and mouth.

Jared reaches up to wipe it away with the sleeve of his shirt like a three year old. “Stop that, I'll get a paper towel,” Jensen says, shaking his head. Jared blinks as Jensen grabs one and comes over, he reaches out for it but Jensen moves forward and starts cleaning his face gently. 

“You're so gross,” Jared accuses, voice cracking. 

“You're the one who sneezed gobs of mucus besides I have to prepare for this, I'll be cleaning snotty noses for years,” Jensen responds quietly, eyes focused on his mouth as he finishes up and tosses the paper in the trash. They're close to each other, too close and maybe it's the oncoming cold talking, but he can feel Jensen's spirit in close quarters to his, touching and melding together. 

“True. You're going to be a good father,” Jared says, reaching out to brush his fingers through Jensen's hair.

“I'll try to be” Jensen tells him, giving a small smile as he closes his eyes and sways a bit.

“You will be,” Jared says, dropping his hand and swallowing. His back roves like a slow roller coaster and he feels tingles all over his body. Probably from starting to get warm but he feels like it's something else entirely. Their eyes focused on one another, they seem to be doing that a lot lately.

The tea kettle suddenly shouts and breaks the spell. Jensen turns away and leaves. Jared feels a little sad that they lost the moment but it's dangerous and he shouldn't be feeling this way. He feels wrong on so many levels, but something about it is right. He sighs quietly to himself, wishing Jensen was older.

\--------------------

Christmas Eves comes like a cyclone. It snows all day. The night before was a long one as Jared and Donna wrapped up gifts. Jensen wanted to help but Donna put her foot down and told him she wanted him to be surprised. Jared agreed and Jensen claimed they were both against him. Opening presents on Christmas Eve is a tradition for the Ackles because they spend the next day preparing Christmas dinner, watching Christmas movies on television and having family time instead of worrying over new gifts. Jared is used to opening them on Christmas morning but he doesn't mind at all. It's nice to experience something else other than what he's used to.

They sit on the floor, surrounding the tree and Mack is the most excited about it. She can hardly sit still as Donna counts down to six p.m when they can finally start digging in. “Okay, go,” she finally says and Mack is already on it, looking through the pile to find her name. 

They open presents, wrapping paper everywhere. Jensen gets a new cellphone from his mom, a sumsang galaxy 3, a new camera from Jared. Jared and Donna went halves on getting him pregnancy clothes and jeans, something Jensen is so happy about since he is tired of wearing his mom's baggier clothes. Thirteen year old boys shouldn't be wearing woman's clothes anyway. Mackenzie ends up with a sand-art set, a candle making kit and other girly things that make her happy. She gets her first cellphone from Jared and squees about it, she tackles him to the ground and hugs him tight. Donna gets a new curling iron and some clothes from Jared. She already knew, but thanks him again anyway. Jensen gets her a plaque with a poem about mom's. Something that brings a tear to her eye, she reaches forward and hugs Jensen tight, telling him she's her lovely boy and she's so glad she had him. 

Jared finally gets to his presents. A leather bound journal from Donna and a book of poems from Jensen. Inside there is a poem circled in red. Jared reads it to himself, he can't breathe for a moment. Looking over at Jensen after he reads a few lines, and Jensen looks back, looking nervous, chewing on his bottom lip.

He finishes, gazing at Jensen. “You really feel that way?” 

Jensen nods, giving a shaky smile, like he's afraid Jared doesn't feel the same way but he does, tenfold. 

“What does it say?,” Donna asks, peering over at Jared's new book.

“Uh... let me read it,” Jared says, feeling like it's way more personal than should be read outloud. He clears his throat and begins to read.

_When two souls meet, they never know how they will collide_  
It could be the sensation of love's first kiss or the hate  
and passion of a kiss with a fist. It was fate that brought them  
to their conclusion, of two people who didn't know each other  
before they touched in a dark abyss and when they melded  
there was love and light. Constellations of spirits intertwining  
in milliseconds into eternity of time. Paradise in their hearts,  
their bodies stardust surrounding them when arms close  
around their waists, feeling safe and secure in warmth and grace.  
They'll have no doubt that in a shipwreck at sea, they can depend  
and rely on the genuine feelings that tell truth and deep stride  
And when they die even at different time, these two souls will meet again   
and in the heavens they will glide. For friendship and love reflects  
in their eyes 

“That's beautiful,” Donna says, smiling warmly at Jensen. 

“Thank you, Jen, it really means so much,” Jared admits, hoping his own eyes reflect what's said in the poem. 

“I mean it with all my heart,” Jensen replies, looking down at the ground.

“I do too,” Jared says, smiling. He wants to reach across and lift his head, he feels like Jensen doesn't have a reason to hide. He never does with him. 

Jensen looks up, smiling so hard, he looks like his face might split. 

Jared wants to say I love you, but he doesn't. Maybe, someday he'll be able to say it. 

They spend the early morning is preparing Christmas dinner, it's full of spirit and peace despite the loud noises of Christmas music and the television from the living room. Donna teaches Jared how to bake a pie, he's never tried before in his life. He'll cook most anything and even if it doesn't come out right, at least he tried but he kinda sucks at baked goods unless he has help. Jensen takes pictures, he keeps focusing on Jared and the attention makes him a little hot under the collar. He wonders if Jensen meant more in that poem besides them being friends but he doesn't dwell on it. Even a thirteen year old boy would know better than to fall in love with a man his age... then again kids can be easy to do such things and it worries him just a little. 

They eat dinner around noon. Jared stuffs himself so much, he feels like he's going to puke and somehow he manages to eat pie an hour later even though his stomach hasn't settled. Jensen throws up and Jared sits with him in the bathroom, rubbing his back as he coughs and hacks. Soothing him the best that he can. They watch a Christmas Story, Bad Santa and The Santa Claus. Everyone cuddled up on the couch, covered in blankets. Jared feels like he has a family that accepts him for who he is and he kinda wants to call Donna mom, so he wonders if she would mind. She's only fifteen years older than him but she could have had him, really. 

Later that night, he sleeps on the couch, not wanting to leave the feeling of love that surrounds him.

\--------------------

Jensen has been feeling horny as hell lately. He jerks off so much it's becoming tiring. He gets hard at the wind or when he eats really good food or other random times, especially right now with Jared sitting so close to him, and him pressed into the man's side as they watch Pontypoole for the sixth time this month. It's one of their favorite movies, and Jared didn't get what it meant at first, what the message meant, which surprised Jensen since Jared's a writer but he ended up explaining it and Jared had said _'You're so damn smart. You could be anything.'_ and Jensen had just shrugged in embarrassment. But Jensen feels so hot all over right now, his mind keeps straying to things like sex. Being fucked hard, and hands all over his body or giving someone head. He tries to think of Chris but his mind keep straying to Jared with his big bear hands and tanned skin and everchanging hazel eyes filled with lust and desire for him. God, he wants it so much.

He wishes he could scratch the itch with someone, anyone just to stop the constant sexsexsex thoughts but he knows no one is going to want him right now. Not when he's getting fat and his stomach is this ugly protruding thing he won't be rid of until March or April. People look at him funny now when he's out in public, some of the stares at condemning and others are smiles. A few people have come up to him and asked how many months along he was, and wanted to touch his stomach. 

He was fine with that even if he felt kinda uncomfortable, like he had to protect his baby from potential baby snatchers and he felt at ease after awhile until a woman started talking about the fact that her and her husband can't have kids and if he planned on giving it up for adoption, he should give her a call. He had gotten pissed and told her off, part of him wanted to hit her for having the audacity but he just walked away with her looking shocked. What did she expect? That he'd jump for joy? The memory still gets under his skin and he let's his mind travel back to wanting to fuck anyone. 

“No one is going to want me right now, and definitely not when I have a kid. I mean, I love my child but what teenager is going to want to deal with this? All the bullshit it comes with, the barely there time I'll have to go on dates or be together with someone. My teenage years and likely my adulthood is fucked for a relationship,” Jensen grumbles, burrowing deeper into Jared.

But he doesn't say anything. Just stays silent and Jensen wonders if he fell asleep, so he looks up and blinks at Jared staring down at him. His mouth is slightly slack and the television screen's light is casting across his face, illuminating it. “What?” 

Jared closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them. “That's not true, Jensen. Someone is going to want to deal with it just so they can be with you. I promise.” 

Jensen rolls his eyes. “You must not know teenagers.”

“Who says it has to be a teen? It could be an older man that wants you,” Jared says, not breaking eye contact. 

“Okay, I know I'm mature for my age but no older man is stupid enough to go after me. I'm jail bait,” Jensen says with a sigh. 

“Yeah, that's true but if you were a few years older, I know a man that would want you,” Jared says quietly. 

“Who?,” Jensen says, honestly confused. He can't think of anyone who would be idiotic enough to want him especially now. 

Jared goes silent and looks at him pointedly, raising an eyebrow. 

Jensen stares, his mind trying to process and then his mind connects. “Oh... oh. Wow.” He looks away and goes silent himself. Then speaks again. “Really?”

“Mmmhmm,” Jared hums, reaching out to brush his fingers across Jensen's exposed hand. 

Jensen is a little confused, because he can't really believe it. There's nothing special about him. He's just a kid, a kid who did something really stupid. “Why?” He can't help asking. 

Jared takes a soft breath and speaks. “Because you're amazing, Jen. Because you make me think, you inspire me, you make me feel loved and wanted. You accept me. You're talented in your photography, your art takes my breath away. You see things in a way that's so different from everyone else. You're a well of depth I didn't think could exist in a thirteen year old and I just feel so blessed to know you. To be able to be your friend and spend all this time with you.” 

Jensen feels warm inside, his heart pounding in his chest. He swallows, Adam's apple bobbing and blushes. “So, you like me like me?” 

Jared chuckles. “Yes, even though you just sounded your age.” 

“Shut up,” Jensen says, punching him in the arm. 

Jared's eyes sparkle, looking hurt. Rubbing at his arm. “Why you gotta be so mean? I tell you you're awesome and you abuse me.” 

“Don't you know people are mean when they like you back? It's a playground rule. Everyone knows it,” Jensen says, smiling up at him shyly. 

Jared smiles back. “So, you like me like me?” 

Jensen nods. “Yes. You're handsome, smart as hell, so deep, you take care of me and don't complain. You're always there. You care so damn much, your heart is a well of water that never ends. It draws me the heck in and makes me want to stay submerged for as long as it'll keep me. You're one of the only people who doesn't treat me like a kid but an equal. You make me so goddamn turned on, I can't think straight sometimes. How can I not like you?” 

Jared's face goes a little more slack, eyes half lidded. “You know we can't do anything, right? Not till your older.” 

Jensen frowns. “Why wait? It's not like I'm not already pregnant, Jared.”

“Your mom for one,” Jared tells him, pursing his lips. “People in general. No one would approve of it.” 

Jensen sighs. “I know. Wishful thinking.” 

“Promise you won't tell your mom?,” Jared asks, hand sliding into Jensen's as he holds onto it. 

“Yeah, I promise,” Jensen replies as he leans his cheek back against Jared's arm.

“Good,” Jared says, sinking into the couch to be next to him. 

Jensen feels a little cheated and wishes he was older, because his heart and his dick wants now instead of later. They watch Pontypoole till the end and laugh at the end credits as always. Jensen falls asleep on Jared, knowing he's cared for.

\--------------------

Jared is almost finished with his book. He keeps getting calls from his publisher asking when it'll be complete and he's getting a little frustrated with them. He feels pressured. It'll be done when it's done, you don't rush greatness. Jensen and him are sitting down in the rec room, as Jensen goes through Jared's mounds of c.ds and listens to music. Jared is already considering the ending. The boy is going to give birth to a healthy baby boy, and the baby might be supernatural in someway. But he wants something more, something more concrete.

“I don't know how to end this,” Jared speaks up, fingers clacking.

“I can't tell you. You gotta figure it out yourself,” Jensen says, looking up. 

“Just tell me, something anything, I've told you a little bit so...,” Jared trails off, licking his lips. 

Jensen shrugs. “Everyone likes a happy ending. So give it a happy ending.”

“But I want something more somber,” Jared admits, furrowing his brows.

“Okay, so you say he has a dog right? Don't let him live. Let the dog die saving the main character and then they have a little funeral for him, even get him a headstone for the back yard where he's buried but it still has a happy ending because he lives and the dog wanted him to keep living,” Jensen says, picking up a C.D and looking at it. 

Jared hums quietly and nods. “I really love that. Didn't even consider killing the dog and much as it pains me to say it, the idea is good. I'm kinda attached to the dog. Makes me wish I had a dog of my own.” 

“You should get one, your house is big enough,” Jensen admonishes. 

“Maybe, someday,” Jared says as he returns to clacking away on the keys. 

He'll be finished by the end of the month, he knows it. He has two more chapters to go before the end. It's almost a thousand pages. He figures that'll be a meaty read for his fans and new book readers. His mind trails to the fact that Jensen is six months pregnant now, and he thinks he'll dedicate the novel to Jensen and his unborn child. It seems right.

\--------------------

It's January 15th and Jared is sitting in a hotel room, while Jensen showers. Sandy's wedding is in a few hours and she told him he could bring Jensen along for the ride. He feels nervous about being back here, his mind keeps drifting to what happened. The sheer and utter terror he felt, he knows she's in jail but Mavis has left an imprint on his life he can't shake and he feels like crap for it. He doesn't know if he'll ever get over it fully but he hopes someday it'll at least get manageable to where he can live without fear of meeting new fans at book signings.

Jensen comes out with a tail around his waist, baby belly sticking out like a sore thumb and he can't help thinking how cute and round he looks. “You're beautiful,” is what slips out of his mouth.

Jensen blinks and looks at him, slight blush coloring his cheeks. “Girls are beautiful. Boys are handsome.” 

Jared chuckles. “Doesn't change the fact that you are. Beautiful.” 

Jensen shakes his head, and goes to his bag, going through his clothes. Jared turns away as he gets dressed. 

They catch a cab to the church and Dayton is no different than usual. Hustle and Bustle of the city. People everywhere. The church parking lot is packed with cars, so he's kinda glad he didn't rent one because they'd just end up having no where to park. They both go inside, in their suits and find a place to sit. The ceremony is beautiful. Sandy cries, half the room cries and Jared even tears up a little at the sight of her in her wedding gown. She's gorgeous and she looks so happy. The man she's marrying he can't really see, but he prays he's a good guy because he doesn't want to see her hurt. Sandy leaves with her now husband, and Jared follows out throwing rice as they make a get away in their car. 

An hour later, they're at the reception. It's a nice place, dance floor, tables and chairs. Everythings done in blue and white. Sandy is going around talking to everyone and finally she makes her way to Jared. He gets up, leaving Jensen alone for a moment.

“I'm so glad you made it, baby,” Sandy whispers in his ear, holding onto him.

“I wouldn't miss this for the world, Sandy moo,” Jared whispers back, kissing her on the forehead as he pulls back. “I'm gonna meet the husband, right? Need to check him out before you two spend forever together.”

“Yeah, you can go over to the table and talk to him. He's a nice guy, so don't worry, because I know you are” She says with a wink.

“Definitely am. Kinda shocked you got married so soon, but I guess you really mean it,” Jared says, looking past her at the table where her husband is talking to some of his groomsmen. 

“Yes, he's the one. I'm sure of it,” Sandy says with a smile. “And who is this over here?” 

Jared turns to look at Jensen. “Oh, that's Jen. The guy you said I could bring along.”

“Is that the kid from the party?”,” Sandy asks, raising her eyebrow. 

“Yeah, he's one of my bestfriends,” Jared answers, feeling kinda uncomfortable.

Sandy nods, smiling and the tension eases out of his body. “Can I go talk to him? You can go talk to Jonathan.” 

“I don't think he'd mind, just don't interrogate him,” Jared tells her as he moves past her and heads for the bride and groom table.

Jared stops and gives his best grin. “Jonathan, right?” 

The man has short cropped black hair, he's well built and kinda tall but not as Tall as Jared. Jonathan looks up from eating his lobster and smiles back. “I was wondering when Sandy's jolly green giant was going to grace me with his presence. So, hey Jared. Sit down. Let's talk.” 

Jared slips in beside him, turning toward him. “You know I gotta ask since you're marrying so early. Why do you love my Sandy?” 

Jonathan laughs. “You should know that already. She's a wonderful person. Loves me, takes care of me, isn't selfish at all. She loves with her whole heart and she does it so sincerely toward me that I'm floored by her devotion. I didn't really think about having kids and getting married till her, but that's how I feel about her. I can see a future, an eternity with her. She's my world, you know? I couldn't imagine life without her. I'm sure you get that. You ever been in love?”

Jared blinks and nods slowly. He automatically thinks of Jensen, Jensen and his eyes and his smile and his unwavering love. “Yeah. Yeah I have.” 

“Then you understand and I promise. I'm going to take care of her. I'll never be an asshole unless I'm tired and cranky and even then I'll apologize and gravel for forgiveness. You'll never have to worry if I'm abusing her or not treating her well. I can't even begin to fathom doing something like that to her. She's too sweet and gooey inside, I want her to remain that way. I don't want to harden her heart or harden mine. She makes me a better man,” Jonathan says, sounding heartfelt and real.  
Jared smiles, it's genuine. “You have a way with words, and usually I'd wonder what you were hiding but you mean it don't you? Every word, every syllable. I feel a lot better knowing she has such a great guy.” 

Jonathan smiles. “Thanks, man.”

They spend the next half hour, talking about trivial and important things. What they do for a living, their goals and dreams. Jared knows if he still lived here, he'd be easy friends with Jonathan. It wouldn't be hard at all. He watches for a little bit as Sandy dances with Jensen. He's gotten taller in the last few months. He's almost past Jared's shoulders at the head. He's still small and molds against Jared, he'll admit he likes when his love interests are smaller than him. Gives him someone to protect and keep in the palm of his hand, but he doesn't mind that Jensen is growing up. Only means they'll be together soon. 

Sandy finally comes over and Jared stands up so she can slide in next to her husband.

“Your little friend is so damn cute and his belly? Adorable. He let me touch it too. Made me excited to start making babies,” Sandy gushes. 

Jared laughs. “Yeah, he is adorable.”

“And I believe he has a crush on you. Be careful, he might make a move,” She says, smirking. 

Jared laughs nervously. “Yeah, maybe. Sure it's just a phase or something.”

“Got a feeling it's not,” She says then leans up and whispers in his ear. “No, really, be careful. Because not everyone is going to be accepting of your friendship.”

Jared pales a little, talking quietly. “Uh, did he say something?” 

“No, but I could tell,” She whispers. “He really cares about you, Jared. Wait till he's older so he can make an informed decision.” 

Jared nods. “Yeah, that's the plan.” 

“Okay, getting back to my hubby. Go back to your Jen,” Sandy says as she slips past him and smacks him on the ass.

Jared jumps and he hears Jonathan laugh. He makes his way back over to Jensen and slips into his seat. “You and Sandy get along?”

“Yeah, she's really cool,” Jensen says, picking at his food. 

“She said you were cute,” Jared says, smirking. 

“I'm not cute,” Jensen bemoans.

“Yes, you are. As a button,” Jared says, chuckling.

Jensen shakes his head. “I'm sorry by the way. She figured some things out.” 

“It's okay. She told me,” Jared replies, shrugging his shoulders. “She wasn't mad or anything. Just told me be careful.”

Jensen nods, getting a far away look in his eyes. “I wish we didn't have to wait. I really do. It kinda hurts not being able to be with you in the way I want to.” 

Jared looks down. “I know, I feel the same way.”

Jensen slides his index finger around the edge of his wine glass. “You've been really jittery since we got here. Expecting something?”

Jared shrugs his shoulders. “Sorta, kinda, maybe.”

“What?,” Jensen asks, looking curious.

“Sorry, I haven't told you but... I was stalked awhile ago by some crazy fan and she um... she got in my house, tied me down and cut me up. It's why those scars all over my body, they're from here... and it happened here, so I don't really like being here,” Jared admits, feeling slightly weird for finally telling Jensen that.

Jensen has a look of horror on his face. “Holy shit... I'm so sorry, Jared. That must have been terrible but how did she know? You don't even put your picture in your books or give any information about yourself.”

Jared shrugs. “I don't know. The police don't know. She could have followed me home from one of my book signings. She never told us how.” 

“I'm … don't be scared to be here. You've got me and if she tries anything, I'll kill the bitch,” Jensen says a bit passionately, face tight. 

Jared laughs. “I wouldn't let your pregnant ass do any such thing. You'd get hurt.”

Jensen pouts. “Yeah, Yeah.” 

“Wanna dance?,” Jared asks, feeling better.

Jensen takes a drink of his pineapple juice and dabs at his mouth with a napkin. “Yeah. Then head back to the hotel. I'm really tired.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Jared says, getting up from the table.

They dance close, getting lost in their own little world. Just the two of them. Jared leads and Jensen follows, looking up at him the whole time with a light in his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

His mom comes home with a baby book, Jensen sits in the living room for a couple hours reading names and some he likes while others he really doesn't. Jared comes over and sits in the kitchen with Donna as she peels potatoes for dinner and Jared eats a turkey sandwich. Jensen sits at the table reading names out loud. 

“Hazel?,” Jensen asks, looking over at his mother.

She makes a face. “Nah, I really don't like that one.”

Jensen skims. “Melanie?” 

“Oh god, no. Remember Melanie from Days? She was kind of a crazy Disney Princess going after Philip like that. That's what I'd think about everytime I'd say my grandbaby's name,” Donna says, shaking her head. 

Jensen laughs. Okay, no Melanie. How about Bethany?” 

“Beth? Hm... I kinda like it but it doesn't feel right,” Donna hums, nearly cutting herself. 

“Be careful, mom,” Jensen chides. 

“How about Jamie?,” Jared pipes up, a bit of mayo in the corner of his mouth. 

Jensen reaches across the table, careful of his stomach and wipes it from Jared's mouth then tllts his head. “Jamie... I really like it. But what would go with Jamie?” Jared looks at Jensen with a slightly heated look in his eye and Jensen, feeling a bit of heat go through his stomach.

“Hm... Jamie May?,” Donna questions, stopping for a moment.

“Jamie May... country but it fits. I love it. Jamie May Ackles it is,” Jensen says, beaming.

“It's settled then,” Donna says with a smile. “I can see it. I'll love calling her name or scolding her when she's being a heathen.” 

Jensen snorts. “Like you do me and Mack?”

“Oh yes. I always feel like I have the power by calling you by your full name. It's a mother's only way to get her children to feel bad,” Donna says with a smirk, wagging her finger with the knife in her hand. “You'll know that feeling someday soon.”

“Probably,” Jensen murmurs. 

“Speaking of babies and baby names. I think it's time we go shopping especially since Donna has a day off tomorrow,” Jared says, polishing off his sandwich. 

“ _Jared._ No,” Jensen says warningly. 

“ _Jensen._ yes,” Jared mocks, mouth gaping open in mockery. 

“No, Jared,” Jensen says firmly.

“Come on. It'll keep you guys from putting a dent in your debt. I said I'd do it and I'm doing it,” Jared says, pursing his lips and making a funny face. 

Jensen sighs. “Whatever.”

“Oh, Jen. Let the man do it. I for one would love to go baby shopping and be able to get whatever we want,” Donna says, the sound of potatoes being cut in half filling the air. 

“Okay, Okay. You're right besides we can't have a baby shower. Who would come without feeling offended by a pregnant teenager?,” Jensen says, placing his hands on his stomach. 

“True. We'll have a baby shower for the next one, when you're much much older,” Donna says pointedly. “A nice big one.” 

Jensen rolls his eyes and Jared just smiles.

\--------------------

They head for Baby's R Us the next day. It's kind of expensive but Jared says he doesn't mind at all. The pile in Donna's car, singing Christmas songs out loud even though the holiday is long over. Soon they're in the store, and oooing and awwing over everything. Jensen seems to forget about him being wary about letting Jared pay for everything and throws everything imaginable into the buggy.

“Get neutral colors too,” Jared admonishes.

“Why?,” Jensen asks, looking over a little pink infant t-shirt.

“Incase she is a he. It happens sometimes,” Jared says with a shrug.

Jensen stops a moment and puts the pink shirt back. “That makes sense. Blue and purple are neutral colors. So is white and brown, green as well. Red. Guess I'll go for those instead.” 

Mackenzie comes running up to them with shirts, Donna trailing behind. “Look at these.”

Jensen takes them from her and looks them over. “If you think I'm cute, you should see my daddies and... I wrecked my dad's no no spot.” Jared and he laugh. “I'm so getting the no no spot one.” 

“Jensen, that's inappropriate,” Donna chastises. “No baby should wear a shirt like that.”

“Aww, come on. She'll never know she even wore it” Jensen says. “I'm getting it.” He puts both in the cart. 

Donna looks at Jared with a pleading look and Jared purses his lips, shrugging. He can't really tell Jensen no, because he has a point. 

They get to the cribs, they're all beautiful but one stands out. A red oak with a shiny finish. Jared picks up the assembly box and takes it to lay away, so he can come back and pick it up with his truck. When he gets back out, Jensen is standing there, looking nervous.

“What's wrong?,” Jared asks, concerned.

“I was thinking...,” Jensen trails off, tugging at the bottom of his shirt, it stretches across his stomach, making it stand out. 

“Hm?,” Jared asks, pushing the car as they go back to looking around.

“What if we get a bassinet for your house, so I can take her over there when I want to be with you,” Jensen says, hand on the metal of the cart. 

Jared is touched and he warms at the thought. He stops and moves around, hugging Jensen to him. “Of course, I'd love that.”

Jensen sighs, relieved. “Thank god. I thought you'd think I was being too clingly. 

“No way, I love it.” Jared looks over Jensen's head and notices Donna standing there with a secret smile on her lips. He suddenly feels guilty and looks away.

\--------------------

Jensen is at Jared's house. They're in the kitchen making dinner and dessert. Mackenzie is at a friend's house and his mom is at work. Jensen mixes up frosting for a cake, it's really not that hard and tends to taste better than the store bought kind. Jared comes over, hoovering behind him and reaches forward to take a finger full of frosting and smear it across Jensen's cheek.

Jensen blinks and takes a spoonful, turns around and flings it at Jared's face. “Your move, asshole.”

“Asshole this,” Jared says, taking a handful and wiping it across Jensen's shirt. They end up in a frosting war, throwing it at each other, the kitchen suddenly a chocolately mess. Their clothes, faces and everything else ends up covered in frosting. Jensen moves forward, standing on his toes to lick Jared's cheek. Jared looks surprised and then Jensen licks across the corner of his mouth and Jared inhales sharply. 

“Mmm,” Jensen breathes. He reaches down to grab Jared's chocolate covered hand and brings a finger to his mouth sucking on it. He looks up at him, keeping eye contact and Jared's eyes are half closed as he breathes a bit harshly. He takes his tongue, sliding the tip down the length of his middle finger, suckling on it gently. He looks down and sees a tent forming in Jared's pants and he feels pleased that he's putting that there. 

He goes to move to another finger, but Jared pulls his hand away, shaking his head. “No, Jensen.” 

Jensen sighs, feeling unwanted even though he knows he shouldn't. Disappointed, he makes more frosting and tries not to cry like a giant girl. A few moments later, there's a knock on the door. “Expecting someone?”

“No, not that I know of,” Jared answers, leaving the room. 

He comes back a few seconds later, with a surprisingly good looking Chris on his tail.

“It's Chris,” Jared announces, smiling a little as he moves back to the stove.

Jensen beams. “How'd you find me?” 

Chris grins. “Called your mom when I couldn't get a hold of you. She said you'd be here.” 

Jensen smiles. “I'm glad your parents finally relented.” 

“They're still pretty angry but I had to explain to them in a way they could understand. How is it fair that I'll go be with my kid when I'm eighteen and then they won't even know to call me anything unless I've been in their life all this time? So my mom talked to my dad and they said I could, long as I stick by my schoolwork and go to college,” Chris explains, shrugging his shoulders. 

“That's great but it has a sex now. It's a girl,” Jensen tells him, grinning. He feels incredibly good at the moment, like nothing could go bad. 

Chris gets a weird look on his face, then just smiles softly. “I have a daughter. That's awesome.” Chris blinks. “And what happened to you dude? You look like you're covered in shit.” 

Jensen laughs. “We got into a frosting fight.” 

“Oh, must have been fun,” Chris says, looking over at Jared. 

“It was,” Jensen says, grinning. 

Chris stays for dinner, they talk as Jensen catches him up on everything and Chris tells him he'll get a few things for the baby. He'll snake some money from his parents. Jared is silent the whole time and when Jensen looks over, he has a furrowed face and looks contemplative.  
After dinner is finished, Jared does the dishes as Chris feels the baby kicking in Jensen's stomach, his bestfriend marvels over it with an awed look on his face. Laughing everytime she presses against his hands. He talks to her softly, telling her about himself and Jensen smiles the whole time. Jared ends up leaving the room and Jensen gets a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

“So... we still gonna you know, continue where we left off?,” Chris asks, dropping his hands from Jensen's stomach.

Jensen raises his eyebrow. “Maybe. I've been feeling especially horny lately.” but it feels like he'd be cheating on Jared. 

“I'll take care of you baby,” Chris says with a leer.

Jensen laughs. “Whatever, doof.” 

Chris chuckles. “I'm gonna head home, mom doesn't want me staying out too late. I'm still kinda grounded,” Chris says.

“Okay, but you'll come by again soon?,” Jensen asks.

“Yeah, tomorrow. For sure,” Chris responds, as he leans forward and hugs him. 

Chris leaves and Jensen looks through the house for Jared. He finds him on the back deck, writing on his laptop and drops down in a lawn chair beside him, facing him. 

“Jared?,” Jensen hedges.

“Yeah?,” Jared asks, not looking away from his laptop. 

“Is something the matter?,” Jensen questions, hands on his knees. 

Jared looks up, looking at him a long moment then shakes his head. “No.”

“Somethings wrong. You were really quiet in there,” Jensen says, frowning.

Jared sighs. “Okay, I'll tell you. I'm really jealous of a fourteen year old boy.” 

“Fifteen,” Jensen replies, not all that surprised.

“That's besides that point,” Jared says with an eye roll.

Jensen tilts his head. “If it makes you feel any better, I'm not in love with him.” 

“I know but it's not really that,” Jared says, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Then what is it?,” Jensen asks, eyebrow raised.

“It's stupid,” Jared says, turning his eyes back on the screen.

“It's not stupid if it makes you feel bad,” Jensen says softly, reaching across to place a hand on his knee and squeeze. 

“It's just... I want to be the one there for you and the baby. I want it to matter that I'm there. I want to be more than an uncle to your child,” Jared admits, looking embarrassed. 

“You will be more than an Uncle to her,” Jensen says, smiling softly.

“No, I want to be her father,” Jared says, tucking his top lip between his teeth in a bite.

Jensen blinks. “Okay.” He isn't sure what to say to that, he feels... strange about it. Something in him wishes for that too, but at the same time he's glad Chris is the father. 

“I know how important it is that your bestfriend is her father and that you two take part in her life and that she gets to have that. I get that but I just felt left out, you know?,” Jared says, gazing at him. 

Jensen swallows. “You're not left out, at all. You're going to be such a big part of her life as long as you're in it.” 

“I'll always be in it, Jensen,” Jared says. “But I told you it was stupid.”

Jensen tilts his head and smiles. “It's not stupid. I kinda wish you were her father too, so she would have been born out of love because even if we fall out of love, she'd always have that.”

Jared looks at him a long moment. “You love me?” 

Jensen blushes. “Of course. You didn't think I'm in love with you?”

“No, didn't really... I guess not,” Jared half mumbles, shrugging. 

“You're not doubting me because of my age are you?,” Jensen asks, pouting. 

“No... I just didn't think..nevermind. I'm in love with you too,” Jared admits. 

Jensen gets up, walks over and presses a kiss to Jared's cheek. “I love you, so damn much.”

Jared smiles. “I love you too but you should go take a bath and get changed. You're still covered in chocolate.” 

Jensen looks down at himself. “I completely forgot.” He finally notices that Jared is all cleaned up. “Wanna come join me?” He leers a little. 

Jared frowns. “Jensen.”

“Okay, I'll be back soon.” Jensen frowns, and sighs as he leaves. Being thirteen sucks.

\--------------------

Jensen is turning fourteen today. It's March 1st and there's a little snow on the ground but it's pretty warm for the most part. There won't be a lot of people at his party, most of his friends besides Steve and Chris have turned away from him after finding out he's pregnant and gay. He supposes it's for the best, at least he knows who his real friends are. It's eight in the morning and they're going to go pick Josh up at the airport in the next two hours. All he wants for his birthday is family, Jared, his birthday dinner and a glass of wine. His mother protested against it but he wants it damn it and he read it's fine as long as he doesn't make a habit of it. Also,apparently he might end up drunk off one glass since hormones place the body out of whack.

 

Ten o'clock rolls around, Mackenzie, Donna and Jensen pile into the car and head to the airport. They stand by the seats, waiting for Josh to turn up and when he does. Mackenzie runs out in a flash, pummeling into her big brother, who picks her up and swings her around. Jensen wore his loosest shirt so Josh wouldn't notice his stomach. It's a conversation he doesn't want to have but at least he's going to tell him. They head back home, Josh talking about things at school and Donna telling him how proud she is of him. Once they're inside, Josh puts his things away and comes back downstairs. Jensen pulls him by the hand into the computer room and takes a deep breath.

“Okay, so we've kept this from you but,” Jensen speaks, pulling up his shirt to reveal his eighth month stomach. 

Josh blinks not once but three times. “No fucking way. You're too young. And you're gay?”

“Yes, Josh. Certified Homo,” Jensen deadpans, eyes darkening. 

“Who was it?,” Josh asks, his face hardening.

“...Chris,” Jensen admits, shrugging his shoulders.

“That little shit, knew that kid was trouble,” Josh says, shaking his head. “You should have aborted it. You're too young, Jen. You're ruining your life. You won't be able to go to college and you'll have no support from Chris,” Josh says, voice rising.

Jensen sees red. “I have support from everyone, goddamn it! Mom, Mack, Chris, Jared and Steve. Everyone. Everyone that matters and that should include you too. I thought you'd be happy about being an Uncle, you fucking asshole!” It's the abort thing that really gets him, really pisses him off and hearing it from Josh makes him feel like shit. 

“I can't even look at your right now,” Josh says icily. “Fucking fag.” And then he storms out of the room.

And Jensen raises his hands to his eyes, as tears leak out. 

Donna comes up behind him. “He didn't take it well?”

“No,” Jensen sniffs, turning around and burying his face in his mom's shoulder. Her arms come to wrap around him. 

“It's okay, baby. He'll come around. I'll go talk to him,” Donna says as she let's him go and leaves the room. 

He really wanted his big brother to be happy that he's going to be an Uncle. Is that too much to ask? It's important to him. It matters. It's all he asks for. Nothing more, nothing less.

\--------------------

It's hours later when Josh comes downstairs, looking like he thought a lot about whatever his mom had to say. He sits down by Jensen on the couch in the living room and heaves a breath. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said.”

Jensen still feels hurt but he nods. “It's okay. I understand why you got upset.” 

Josh shrugs. “Yeah, but I shouldn't have. I respect your decisions and think it's good of you to keep the baby. Not many kids your age would have.”

Jensen smiles. “Guess so. Aren't you even a little bit glad you'll be an Uncle for the first time?”

Josh stays silent a moment then shrugs. “Yeah, a little bit, just doesn't seem real right now.” 

“It will be, you'll see,” Jensen says, beaming. 

They talk about the baby, Jensen feels like a broken record when he repeats the things he's told people so many times in the past few months. Josh seems less tense by the end of the conversation. Birthday dinner goes well and Jensen has his glass of wine. He's bit tipsy for two hours as they all sit in the living room along with Jared and watch movies. They watch Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind and Good will hunting because Mackenzie loves Matt Damon. Everyone finally goes to bed four hours later, leaving Jared and Jensen as the only ones left and they watch Paranormal Witness on Syfy. Jensen can tell Jared is scared by the way he keeps clinging to him, it amuses him so much to feel him shake when scary parts come on. 

“How can you be scared of this? You write horror for a living,” Jensen teases. 

“I write what scares me and interests me, so I write the scariest shit from my mind and this shit is definitely up there with my mind horrors,” Jared says, pulling his feet up from the floor, underneath the blanket. 

“Relax. This stuff probably isn't even true, I doubt it really happens,” Jensen says, running his hand up and down Jared's arm, through the thick hairs. “but one day, I'm going to be standing by your bed while you're sleeping and pulling you down off the bed to freak you out.” 

“You do that and no more 3 AM ice cream runs,” Jared warns, frowning down at him. 

Jensen full belly laughs, his sides hurting as if it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. Jared looks so serious though, like he really means it. “You're such a girl.”

“Am not,” Jared whines. 

Jensen feels bold and leans up to press his lips tentatively against Jared's mouth, his stomach pressing against his sides. His lips grow firmer against Jared's, and jared's lips are a little rough but smaller against Jensen's fuller ones. Two seconds later, Jared turns and he's kissing back. Jensen runs with it. It becomes hot and heavy, tongues melding together and Jared pressing Jensen down into the couch, keeping his own stomach away from Jensen's as heat roars through his body. He can feel Jared's erection pressed against his thigh and he moans into the kiss, wishing he could pull them closer but he knows he can't. Jared's hands snake under his shirt, moving over Jensen's tummy and cradling it in his big hands. Jensen shivers, and the baby kicks. He wants to laugh, he's sharing this intimate moment with his daughter and it's both mortifying and amusing. 

But then Jared pulls away, gasping as a string of saliva trails between them. 

“Why are we stopping?,” Jensen asks, slightly dazed. 

“I don't want your mom to freak out and I don't want you to get into something you might blame me for later,” Jared says, wiping his mouth off the back of his hand. 

Jensen sighs, feeling grumpy. “Fine. Don't forget to lock the door on the way out.” Jensen gets up and leaves the room, hearing Jared call after him not to leave him in the dark and Jensen just rolls his eyes, going upstairs and going to bed.

\----------------------

Jared is having a good dream, he's pressed up against Jensen and his stomach isn't in the way. They're pressed close together, bodies melting into each other and he's deep inside him, Jensen crying out his name with little moans as he holds on tight. His legs wrapped around his waist. It's so real, so fascinating. Jared knows it isn't real but it feels that way. Then suddenly he's pulled off the bed, and Jensen is calling his name. He blinks his eyes awake and feels something tugging at his foot. He immediately sits up and sees a figure at the end of the bed. Screaming loud and clear, kinda girly. “What the fuck, Donna?”

She laughs so hard, tears spring to her eyes and she presses a hand to her stomach. “Oh god, your face, Jared. Your face.” 

“You really suck,” Jared grumbles, holding the sheet around his waist to keep it from slipping down. 

Donna sobers and looks at him, her face serious. “We need to talk.”

Jared panics on the inside, closing his eyes. “Is this what I think it's about?” 

“Maybe,” Donna says, turning around and walking to the door. “Come downstairs. I've got breakfast ready. I know how you are. Need food to be fully awake and you need to be for what I have to say.” 

Jared presses his hands to his face, knowing what's coming. He rolls out of bed, takes a quick shower and heads downstairs. He walks into the kitchen where Donna is seated at the nook, with two plates of food and hot coffee. A meal fit for a king. He sits across from her, avoiding eye contact as they eat in silence. He was only half awake until he ate and she's right, he is more alert now that he has a couple cups of coffee in him and a fully belly.

He burps, says excuse me and she reaches across, patting his stomach affectionately. Smiling. “Okay, so I talked to jensen. Who mind you, was very upset and kept crying. I had to ask him several times why he was so upset before he finally told me.” 

Jared's stomach churns and he waits for threats of police and court dates. 

“He says Jared doesn't want me and at first I was like excuse me? And He tells me you really like him, you love him,” Donna continues, keeping her eyes on Jared. Intense. “He says you won't do anything with him until he's older. That you don't want to disrespect me or have him regret having a relationship with a man so much older than himself. Which I appreciate very much.” 

Jared nods dumbly. Throat feeling tight and itchy. 

“I go Do you love him? And He goes yes and I ask him if he knows the difference between friendship and being in love and he goes yes and I ask him to explain it because at this point I'm afraid my son is just lusting after you or falling for you because you do all these things for him, maybe he's confused but you know what he says?,” Donna asks.

Jared swallows. “What?” He's horrified that she even knows, beyond horrified. He feels like he's betrayed her trust and her friendship. He feels ashamed. 

“He says _Love is friendship. It's being there for a person no matter what the circumstances, it's being happy for that person no matter who they're with and I will be if Jared decides he wants someone else in the future but it'll hurt so bad if I don't have him now before that happens. Love is passion and fire, love is trust and understanding, love is a lot like falling off a cliff and trusting the fact that the person will be on the other end, waiting to catch you and I know Jared will. He always will but I want to be the same for him. How do I even explain it? I just know I love him, it's this whole feeling I get when he's near by and when we hug and when we're together. It just fills me up and makes me feel alive more than anything even has even photography. It's wanting him so much that it hurts._ ,” She pauses. “Then he goes _Mom, I love Jared so much. I really do. It's just not just a crush or lust. I'd do anything for him but I can't wait till I'm older. I want him so much right now.”_ ”

Jared can feel his eyes watering, he wishes he had heard Jensen say all that and he wishes he could give it all to Jensen. Every last bit but society would frown upon them and he has a feeling that Donna is about to cut off his balls for even looking at her child in the wrong way. Jared stays quiet.

Donna sighs. “Jared. Do you love my son?” 

Jared keeps looking down at the table. 

“Jared. Look at me when I'm talking to you,” She scolds, like she's his mother. 

Jared can't help but look up. 

“Your eyes are red baby, you need to stop crying. Everything is okay, just answer the question,” She says softly. “Do you love my son? You're not on trial here. I won't be taking you to court or getting police involved.” 

“Yes,” Jared croaks, trying to keep eye contact. “With all my heart.” 

“That's all I needed to know,” She says with a warm smile.

“What's that supposed to mean?,” Jared asks, not sure if he's following.

“I'm giving you permission to be with my son. He's fourteen, I get that but... he's worlds away from being just a kid. He's already had sex. He knows the consequences and right now you can't get him pregnant, so I can't see what's the harm,” She says, reaching down to pick up her coffee cup and sip from the rim. 

“Are you fucking serious?,”Jared breathes, not believing they're this lucky. 

“As a heart attack,” She says, sounding and looking amused. “I just ask that if it lasts, you don't get him pregnant until he's plenty older to handle a second child.” 

“You really mean that?,” Jared asks, wondering when the ball is going to drop.

She nods. “I'm not going to take you to court or file a report. I'm not going to say I don't wonder if you make a habit of falling for young boys but I know you by now and I can say you're not like that. I know your hearts in the right place.” 

Jared blinks. “...Okay. You want me to give Jensen what he wants? I'm understanding this?” 

She laughs. “Yes! Get it through your thick skull. I'm fine with this. You take care of him and give him all the support he needs. I can't think of a better person.”

“Thank you,” Jared says in a small voice. 

“You're welcome. I'll send him over and you can do all sorts of naughty things to him,” She says, waggling her eyebrows.

Jared flushes and puts his face in his hands, embarrassed. 

She laughs and walks out of the house. 

Jared does the dishes, hears the door open. He starts walking from the kitchen, but Jensen appears in front of him. They stare at each other, a current between them, pulling them toward each other then Jared moves forward, pressing a finger underneath Jensen's chin and lifting his lips to his as he leans down for a kiss. It's soft and sweet, nothing like their previous kiss. It's assuring and comfortable, tongues barely brushing each other, as lip smacking noises fill the air. Jared backs them down the hallway and into the living room. He pushes Jensen on the couch and Jensen keeps staring at him.

“You have the coolest mom in the world,” Jared says as he sits down. 

“I know,” Jensen says, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. 

“I'm so... I feel... just kiss me,” Jared says, moving through the motions. He feels everything and too much at once, roving through him. Jensen moves forward, not needing to be asked twice as he presses his lips to Jared's and deepens the kiss. Warmth spreads through his body, he feels like he's found home. They end up kissing for hours, laying on their sides and hands all over each other. He feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, that he can have this, have Jensen's love and his hand pressed over Jared's heart as it beats out a song for Jensen.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared is a gentleman, too much of one. It's starting to frustrate the shit out of Jensen. He doesn't know why Jared won't go any further than kissing and squeezing his ass. He's tired of having a raging hard on and his boyfriend not doing anything about it. He tries to keep from complaining because he figures Jared must have reserves about being with someone his age, or is afraid of getting slammed in court with rape and sodomy charges, or he feels uncomfortable, so Jensen tries to keep from speaking up but right now? That's not going to happen. They're sitting on the edge of Jared's bed, Jensen in his lap, legs hanging over the side of Jared's. Jared has his hands on his ass, big paws squeezing tight. Their erections are pressing against each other, as much as they can with Jensen's stomach in the way. 

Mouth battling as Jensen's fingers slide through Jared's long luscious locks, the man moans into his mouth, and it's hot and slick, the way their tongues lap together as if they're eating ice cream but Jensen pulls back, panting and wiggles his bottom. “I want your fingers in me,” he says through his heavy breaths. He presses a hand to Jared's chest, softening his eyes in a silent plea.

Jared opens his eyes, looking hesitant than shakes his head. “No.” 

Jensen makes a frustrated sound. “Why? My mom doesn't care. You shouldn't care.”

Jared avoids his eyes. “It's not that.” 

“Then what is it?,” Jensen asks, raised eyebrow.

Jared sighs, head bowed as he looks up at Jensen. “I don't want to hurt the baby.”

Jensen blinks, then snickers. “You won't. I've got a baby book, unlike women, males can have sex and all other kinds of sexy stuff without inducing labor.”

“Oh...then... let's throw my self restraint out the window,” Jared says, forming an impossibly shy smile. 

“About time,” Jensen says with a chuckle.

“We're not going to have sex sex right now but I'll blow you,” Jared says as he twists Jensen around and lays him back on the bed easily, like Jensen is no more than a rag doll.

Jensen bounces a few times, and he feels his cock twitch in his pants at the thought that he'll have Jared's hot, moist mouth on it in the next few minutes. He closes his eyes and tries not to feel too excited like a little kid about to go to a Power Rangers show. 

Jared slinks up beside him, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Jensen's maternity jeans and sliding them off his hips to reveal the fact that he isn't wearing underwear. “Kinky. I knew you'd be into easy access,” Jared teases as Jensen's cock springs free and smacks against his larger than life belly. 

“Shut up, it's hard to fit underwear or boxers underneath them, so I just freeball,” He explains, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“I'm not disappointed, kinda like knowing you're naked under your clothes,” Jared says as his hand comes to wrap around Jensen's cock and gives an experimental tug.

Jensen inhales sharply, it always feels so much better with someone's hand on you and Jared's feels a hundred times better than anything he's ever had. “Jared. You sound like a tard. We're all naked underneath our clothes.”

Jared scoffs, hand jacking him slowly as he crawls back down Jensen's body and gets between his legs, spreading them a little with his free hand. “You know what I mean.” 

Jensen feels too good to respond, instead he moans softly and bucks his hips up into Jared's hand but the man's hand comes down to rest against his pelvis and push him down, murmuring something about being careful. The next thing he knows, his head is engulfed in warmth and wetness, Jared's tongue is fucking his slit and he groans at how good it feels. He feels like he's on fire already. Jared seems to be an expert at this, and briefly, somewhere in the haze of lust and want, he wonders how many guys Jared has been with and if he'll measure up when he reciprocates. The only person he's had any experience with so far is Chris and neither knows if they're really good or not, only having themselves as participants to their new sexual talents. 

The thought goes away when Jared takes his whole dick in his mouth and runs his tongue along the side of it, he's sucking like he means it, making Jensen give pleased sounds of moans and groans. Jared's hand is still on his pelvis, keeping him from bucking up and he silently tells his daughter, he can't wait for her to get out of there because he loves her and wants to see her but rough unchained sex would be nice too. She's not moving, so he guesses she's sleeping. He's kinda glad, he really doesn't want his kid to be aware that daddy is finally getting laid. 

And Jared does something completely unexpected and he bucks up hard, with Jared hissing be careful once again. He's disappointed at the momentary loss of a mouth on his dick, but Jared is back and better than before. It doesn't take long for his orgasm to hit him, his body taunt like a string as he goes through it, eyes closing and pleasure dancing all along his skin. It's one of the best orgasms he's had so far. 

It goes silent and Jared comes up to lay beside him on his side. Looking down at him. “You good?” 

He thinks Jared swallowed, he didn't hear any spitting and that just makes him hotter, if he could get it up again this soon after, he would. “Yes, I'm great,” he says through a swallow, basking in the glow. “Your turn.” 

“No, I”m good,” Jared says too quickly. 

“Oh god. Are you afraid the baby can taste your come too?,” Jensen says, feeling strangely amused and offended all at once.

“...No...,” Jared says slowly then... “Yes.” 

Jensen turns his eyes on his face and laughs. “Jared. It's fine. She can't but she can use the protein. We both could. Sit back, relax and let me return the favor. It turns me on just as much to give it than receive it.” 

Jared looks apprehensive but Jensen makes all those worries in his head go away by giving back just as good as he got and Jared doesn't complain anymore with Jensen's name spilling from his lips and hands roughly in his hair, pulling. Jensen counts it as an awesome win.

\--------------------

Chris comes over to play video games and as much as Jensen wants to see him for once, right now all he wants is to be with Jared. He doesn't think he can get enough of him. They're playing Silent Hill 6, and Chris is just as afraid of the horror stuff as Jared is. Which Jensen finds amusing, so he's the one playing while Chris plasters himself against his side and jumps everytime an enemy comes on screen or gets tense in dark places. “You're such a loser,” Jensen says, smiling.

“Dude, this shit is scary. That's why I brought it over, I can't play by myself, I tried,” Chris tells him, warm hand on Jensen's arm. 

“Looooooser. It's less terrifying than previous installments, seriously. I used to shit myself when playing Three and Two but this is a cake walk,” Jensen says, shaking his head as the main character beats up some weird stick like enemy on screen. Jensen can't help thinking that the creators lacked imagination. 

“You're not playing it by yourself!,” Chris points out, frowning. 

“Okay, true. I'll play it after you leave,” Jensen says, shrugging his shoulders.

“No, don't play it without me. I want to know what happens,” Chris says, turning his face away from the screen when the enemy screams. 

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Scaredy cat.”

“So, in other news... I'm noticing that you're really happy lately, like I know pregnant people glow but dude, you're vibrating happiness,” Chris says observantly. 

“Remember, Jared?,” Jensen asks, pausing the game. 

“Yeah?,” Chris questions, narrowing his eyes. 

“Okay... so I'm in love with him and he's in love with me and my mom gave us permission to be together.... so we're officially boyfriends and it makes me really happy,” Jensen replies honestly. Smiling so wide, he feels like his face is going to break. 

Chris' eyes narrow further and he looks away for a moment, Jensen thinks he might be mad and he can't really figure out why, it's not like they promised themselves to each other. Just two boys scratching an itch or at least that's how he sees it. 

Chris sighs. “Guess that means no more awesome sex.”

“I still love you though, you're my brother from another mother,” Jensen tells him, smacking a big ass on his forehead. 

Chris reaches up and wipes the spit from his forehead making a face. “Now I'll have blue balls.”

“You have your right hand, my friend,” Jensen sing songs, waggling his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, but nothing beats your girly hands,” Chris says with a pout.

“I do not have girly hands,” Jensen says, feeling slightly offended. 

“You totally do, it's like rubbing one off with a chick,” Chris says, snickering. 

Jensen just shakes his head and goes back to the game. He's almost nine months, in just a couple more weeks. The opening between his anus and balls is bigger, getting wet even though it's not used for intercourse, he'd call it stupid but he knows it's preparing for Jamie to come out. He's both nervous and excited, scared and elated, he knows the shit is going to hurt but he doesn't want a c-section. He wants to be able to say he had his daughter naturally and that while it hurt like a bitch, he was glad she came out to see the world for the first time. He makes note to write in the journal he's been keeping for her, for when she's old enough to read it. He wants to tell her that her father is a big girl and scared of less than scary games and his bestfriend. He wants to tell her that the man he's in love with will be her third father and that she's loved by so many people already. He doesn't ever want her to feel like she doesn't belong, because she does. 

Jensen can't wait.

\--------------------

Jared can't believe Jensen is nine months. It seems like it wasn't long ago that he met him in his back yard and that he had just looked like a normal kid back then. Someone he hadn't expected to fall in love with, to feel like he found a soulmate in. And now Jensen is a lot of ways, is becoming a man too early by way of soon to be birth. It makes him a little sad to know that Jensen's innocence will be lost but at the same time, he's kinda glad, means they'll be on more even footing together. Understanding the ways of the adult world, but that thought isn't really fair, Jen always does things that adults do. It's a little confusing in his head sometimes as he thinks about their dynamics and his own beliefs, he knows it'll situate itself eventually, so he tries not to dwell on it too much.

They're in Jensen's room, after Jared moved the bed and other items around to make room for the crib. They're both on the floor, going through the pieces for the crib, and it's almost finished. Just a few more parts need to be added. It was kinda difficult to be put together, Jared admittedly kept getting frustrated when they started and Jensen had to keep telling him calm down and relax, that they'd get it and he had been right, it wasn't that difficult in the end.

“You ready to go all the way, baby?,” Jared says with a leer as he looks back at Jensen.

Jensen laughs. “If you mean what you're saying. Yes. Please. Any day now. I've been waiting.” 

“I've been thinking about how we could...,” Jared trails off, attaching the last piece underneath the crib, on his knees. “On our sides, so I'm not pressing down on your stomach and so you won't fall forward if you're on your knees.”

“That kinda sucks because I”m a romantic and want to look in your eyes while we do it for the first time,” Jensen admits, leaning back against the bed. 

“We could wait till after Jamie is born,” Jared suggests as he plops back down on the floor in front of Jensen.

“No, no and no. I want sex. Want to know what it's like to have a cock as big as yours inside me,” Jensen says. Jared thinks he has no shame or a brain to mouth filter. He's going with the latter. Sometimes, he has a more vulgar mouth than Jared does. 

“If I hurt you...,” Jared says, trailing off.

“You won't,” Jensen whispers, reaching across to cup his cheek and kiss him on the mouth softly. “Promise.” 

Jensen stands and grabs Jared's hands to help him to his feet. Jensen locks his door, the snick in the room is loud and cements what they're about to do. Jared feels slightly uncomfortable because Donna and Mack are in the house somewhere and he really doesn't want to be quiet. 

“Tell me you got lube?,” Jared asks, taking off his shirt and throwing it to the floor. 

“Mmmhmm,” Jensen answers as he starts undressing. 

It doesn't take long before they're both naked, and Jared can't help thinking about how slight Jensen is, but his board shoulders promise he'll be big one day. Bigger than him in the shoulders. For a second, he feels like a perv again but he washes it away with how much he loves Jensen and in the end, love is what wins out. They say age isn't anything but a number but he used to think that was for old coots who wanted to perv on younger men and women but now he understands it. It's true.

Jensen moves forward, placing his hands on Jared's waist and it stops all his thoughts. He looks down and sees warmth and care shining in Jensen's eyes as his hands move up his chest and brush his nipples, causing Jared to shiver. He leans down and kisses him on the mouth lightly as he backs Jensen onto the bed and he crawls up by his elbows, his cock half hard and beautiful. 

Jared nearly falls on the bed, but he manages to stop himself and hoover over Jensen, leaning down to trail kisses across his neck and shoulders. Jensen makes these soft sounds, little breaths and sighs as Jared kisses down his chest, paying extra special attention to his belly as Jared whispers to the baby inside about how much he loves his daddy, and how she'll be here soon, and he's going to take care of her and help daddy be able to finish school. That they're going to be very close. She kicks then, pressing her tiny foot against his lips and he smiles against it. Jensen calls him a sap. He chuckles as he keeps going down, trailing his tongue and mouth over his pelvis, the insides of his thighs, tasting warm and salty skin. Jensen is now fully hard and Jared is straining against the bed as his cock is confined between his bed and it. 

“Lube?,” Jared asks, looking up at his lover. 

Jensen leans to his side and opens his night stand drawer and takes out a fairly large bottle and hands it down to Jared. He leans up on his elbows, eyes half lidded and black with lust. He licks his lips but doesn't say anything. 

Jared snicks off the cap, positioning Jensen's legs up and spreading them so he can get to his sweet spot. He squeezes out lube that has the strong scent of cherries and moves his hands forward to spread his cheeks, Jensen hisses above him and Jared circles a wet finger around his entrance before pressing in. It's tight and hot around his finger, he slowly slides it in to the knuckle and Jensen squeezes around him, which he thinks is purposely. Jensen moans when he adds a second finger, trying to press it further inside himself and Jared closes his eyes, groaning a little because all his noises are going straight to his cock. He sounds like a symphony made just for him. 

Soon his fingers are working in and out of the tight entrance, his fingers swallowed up and taking in further almost everytime. Jensen bucks a little and Jared wants to tell him stop but he reminds himself, it won't hurt the baby unless they're being rough, it's not rough just excited movements that you can't help. He adds a third finger, the hole resists for a second and then takes it like a champ. “You ready?,” Jared asks, his voice thick and throaty with lust.

“You're taking too long. Does that answer your question?,” Jensen asks breathlessly. 

Jared laughs, making a hmph noise as he pulls out his fingers and moves behind Jensen. “Impatient little nympho.” He positions him to turn on his side and Jensen goes willingly. Jensen is indeed impatient, he reaches behind himself and spreads a cheek and Jared let's him, taking his dick in his hands and pressing the head to the pucker. It doesn't take at first, his head slips on the slipperiness but eventually it pushes past the barrier and Jared inches in slowly once the head is engulfed. It's so tight around him, like he's in a vice grip and at first it even hurts a little but it gives away into the sensation of heart and wetness, making his entire dick feel like it's in the best place it could be. 

Jensen makes a little noise of pain and exhales. 

“You okay?,” Jared asks, as he goes still. 

“I'm fine, keep going,” Jensen insists, pushing back against Jared and taking him in that last inch. “When I say move, you move.” 

It's difficult to hold still, he wants to pull back out and slam in so bad. Fire dances along his spine, he's so turned on right now it's a fucking joke. He closes his eyes, forehead leaning against the back of Jensen's head and he can smell everything Jensen is, a little sweat, a little soap, aftershave that smells like scented waterfalls and pineapples. It's kind of tropical and he's reminded of a dolphin or a mermaid for a moment. He remembers when Jensen would swim in his pool almost everyday before fall finally hit. Like a fish. It makes him smile through his lust haze.

“Okay, move,” Jensen breathes, as he pushes his rear back against Jared.

Jared nods, even though Jensen can't see. He pulls out slowly and then edges back in, then a rhythm is started up between them. It's a bit on the slow slide but the friction is fantastic, pleasure moving between them. Jared reaches around, taking Jensen's dick in his hand, stroking it hard and rough the way Jensen likes it. The sounds Jensen makes, encourages him like no other. He wishes he could have Jensen's arms wrapped around him pulling him close but that will come later. Jensen comes first, spilling all over his hand, and Jared jerks him through it. Jensen comes down from his orgasm high and starts thrusting back against Jared, meeting him thrust for thrust. Jared comes all too soon, spilling inside him. 

They're sticky with sweat, and Jared stays inside for a moment. Kissing the back of Jensen's head. “I love you,” he whispers softly. 

“I love you too,” Jensen says through a scratchy throat as he slides his hand over the back of Jared's and squeezes. They both drift off into sleep.

\--------------------

Jared is out running errands. Jensen couldn't go with him because he had homework and had to watch Mack until his mom got home. How can you miss someone so much when you see them everyday? It boggles his young mind. Almost a week ago they went to Jared's publishing house in Ohio, and Jared had to fight a little bit in order for Jensen to do the book cover. Jensen went into a real studio and took pictures of a model in strange alien looking attire and various other objects. He managed to finish the book cover in a few days, he felt like he wouldn't do it well enough but Jared had been impressed and even the publisher approved it once he saw it. Apparently saying that it was twenty times better than what he was expecting from a kid.

After he was finished with his homework, he baked Jared's favorite cookies. Oatmeal raisin, two batches. He carries the saran wrap covered plate over to his house and pushes open the door with his hip. The house is silent, which he finds strange since they're always making some kinda noise or the tv is on. He walks into the kitchen and sets the plate down on the counter. Getting in the fridge to see if there's any ranch dressing and ice cream. He figures by the time his pregnancy is over, he'll never eat this stuff again but until then he's gonna stuff himself silly with it. Once he gets his items, he walks back to the counter, grabs a bowl and starts filling it up. 

He doesn't hear the footsteps creeping into the room, but he does feel the hit to the back of his head. He sways for a moment, his brain not processing it and another hit comes, this one makes him see black and he passes out.

\--------------------

Jared pulls up to the house, grabbing his bags of new C.DS and movies. He goes into the house and automatically thinks of Jensen. Soon as he puts this stuff away, he'll go get him. He puts the movies in the living room and then proceeds down into the basement, he stops at the top step, getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He listens for noises, but finds none. As he keeps going, he hits the bottom and looks around. He sees a leg to the far right of the room and hastens his footsteps toward it. When he gets there, he is both shocked and appalled to see Jensen wrapped up gagged and bound to one of the chairs. Jensen looks up at him, eyes full of fear.

“Oh god, baby. What happened?,” He asks, as he moves forward, dropping the bag, hands going to the bounds on his ankles to try and undo them. Jensen makes a noise of alarm and before Jared can turn around, he feels something pressed against the back of his head. 

“J.T Padalecki. Long time no see,” A gruff male voice says from behind him.

Jared stills. Doesn't say anything. He knows it's a gun, and oh god, Jensen. Jensen is involved in whatever this is. 

“Get up, slowly,” The man says, and Jared does, getting to his feet. “Good. Bet you don't remember me.” 

The voice sounds familiar, but he shakes his head. 

“Turn around then,” the man says, sounding a little disappointed. 

Jared does as slow as possible and is greeted with a face he knows. The secretary at the publishing company. “What do you want?”

Willard smiles slowly. “Oh, I think you should know.” 

Jared doesn't have a clue, but he keeps in front of Jensen to make sure nothing happens to him. “I'm sorry. Refresh me?” The gun is pointed at his chest and he briefly looks down to see the nozzle pressed tight. He feels nervous, so he needs to keep his cool.

“Did you like my little surprise?,” Willard asks, black eyes emotionless.

“What surprise?,” Jared hedges, furrowing his brows.

“Mavis. My sister. She was always such a big fan, and I thought maybe if I told her about you, she'd pay you a visit and you'd become bestfriends,” Willard says, chuckling. 

“So, that's how she found out,” Jared says lightly. Everyone had been questioned at Miller and Son's. How could they have missed this? 

“Exact o mundo. I knew she was nuts, she spent five years in a mental house for stalking her last boyfriend, figured she'd definitely do it to you and then maybe she'd try to kill you like she tried to kill him,” Willard talks slowly, sliding the muzzle up Jared's collarbone and across his neck as if he's performing a lover's caress. “Shame she didn't succeed.” 

Jared is starting to feel a little pissed off. “Yeah, well, she almost did. Thanks for the gift.”

“You're welcome,” Willard says cheerfully. “And who might your little friend be?” 

“He's none of your business,” Jared hisses, eyes narrowing.

“Oh, don't worry. I won't hurt him... or well, I might have to. Usually I have a policy about harming pregnant people but he's seen my face, can't exactly let him live,” Willard explains with a sigh. “I'll do it as painless as possible. Him and the baby won't feel a thing.” 

“You'll do no such thing,” Jared cries, face feeling heated as anger rises up in him.

“Touchy. Is it your baby?,” Willard asks, eyebrow mildly raised.

Jared doesn't say anything, instead just glares. 

“How about we do away with him first? I mean, it won't hurt you too much if I kill you and then him after. I really want to see you suffer,” Willard admits, eyes sporting hate and mischief. 

“No, please no,” Jared pleads, his voice cracking. “Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?” 

“You don't remember at all do you?,” Willard asks, his eyes hardening.

“No, I don't please. Just tell me and we'll fix this,” Jared says passionately, saying anything and everything he can. 

“Never been to California. Your book. Your ideas, your characters,” Willard hisses, pushing the bunt of the gun against Jared's chest, over and over again. It hurts but he'll endure it until he formulates a plan to save Jensen and himself. 

“What about it?,” Jared asks, not getting it.

“We talked for over an hour while you waited for your appointment. I told you my ideas for a book, about a young woman who had never been to California and when she did, her life got turned upside down and she was on the run from a beast that wanted to kill her only instead it ended up being a coven of warlocks and witches in your novel,” Willard explained evenly. 

“I... those were vague ideas but you're right, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have taken that from you,” Jared told him, feeling a little bad but not too much. As he remembers it was a ten minute long conversation and it had only been half-cocked ideas that the man had, had. Nothing really concrete. Everything he wrote in his novel, had been mostly original. His own ideas. Why is this man pissed over it? Enough to try and kill him? 

“Yes, that's right. You shouldn't have,” Willard says softly. “but you can't take it back now.”

“You could still write it, no one will know the difference, they'll never connect it to my own,” Jared tells him, feeling like he'll lose his cool at any moment. 

Suddenly Willard raises the gun and shoots. He flinches. Jensen muffled, cries out behind him, and his heart constricts in his chest. Oh god, he can't let this happen. He has to stop it. 

“No, I can't now because of you. I was halfway done with that novel, halfway done. It was my ticket to the big leads,” Willard says, hand still raised in the air. 

Jared's heart pounds against his ribcage, and he tries to keep his eyes away from the gun but he has an opportunity here. “You could still do it. It's not too late.” He's reminded of Mavis, except Willard's blonde hair is cropped short and his eyes are more slanted, beady almost. His eyes however have the same insane intent in them, the wrongness he felt when he looked into her's. He's no where near as big as Jared and he thinks he could take him but a pissed off crazy is a strong crazy and he has to be careful.

“No, you ruined that for me, Jared. You fucking thief,” Willard sayings coldly as he starts lowering his arm.

Jared finally reacts, rushes forward. His hand comes up to bat the gun out of Willard's hand and it falls to the floor somewhere with a clutter. Willard makes a surprised grunt as he falls to the floor with Jared ontop of him, Willard's fist hits Jared in the side of the head, he nearly sees stars and groans as he falls to the side. The other man is up on his knees, making his way toward what he thinks is the gun and Jared gets back up, chasing after him. He grabs him by his ankles and pulls him back down. 

Suddenly, they are struggling and grappling for purchases against their bodies, fists flying and kicks being landed. Jared is pretty sure his nose is bleed, he feels something trickling down his mouth but he can't stop now. Behind him he can hear Jensen making noises of fear, and he wants to stop them but the way to do that is stop Willard. He gets him down on the ground and starts punching him in the face as hard as he can, vaguely he's aware that he isn't a violent man but when push comes to shove, you shove. 

Willard gets a knee to his groin, face bloodied but he manages to escape and the neck thing Jared knows, a gun is going off and he panics, looks back at Jensen to see him but he's fine. Then it hits him, seering pain shoots up his leg and he looks down to see blood oozing from his knee. Fuck it hurts, it hurts so damn much but he does have time to worry about that right now. Willard is breathing hard, he's struggling to keep awake and Jared can see it. He looks like he's about to pull the trigger again, but Jared pushes through pain and launches himself at him again. 

He grabs Willard's hand and smashes it down into the hard floor, he let's go of the gun and then as the man fights back. “You sneaky son of a bitch! You deserve to die! You deserve it!,” Willard screams, as his hands reach up to grasp Jared's throat but Jared grabs him by his hair and and starts slamming his head off the concrete. 

“You're fucking crazy!,” Jared grits through his teeth, as Willard's hands get looser around his neck. Then Jared hears a crack, and the other man's eyes flutter shut and he … Jared takes a deep breath. His body aches, he keeps getting blood in his mouth and his knee is on fucking fire. It hurts to press down on it the way he is now but he has to check and see if this son of a bitch died. He leans forward, leaning his ear toward his mouth and the man is still breathing. Just passed out. There's a puddle of blood forming around his head, and for the fact that he threatened Jensen's life? He hopes he fucking dies. 

Jared pushes up to his feet, and immediately he falls on his side. Knee giving out He looks up to see Jensen staring at him, eyes wet and shimmering in the light. There's a puddle of liquid on the ground underneath the chair, and his heart stops for a moment. Is that what he thinks it is? “It's okay, baby,” Jared groans, as he starts pulling himself across to him on his side. He's afraid Willard will wake up and that will be the end of it. They won't make it through this but he gets there and starts untying the ropes at his ankles and then manages to move around back and undo his wrists. He falls back after that, breathing through his mouth, he's pretty sure his nose is broken. Pretty sure his knee is shot to hell. 

Jensen scrambles from the chair, it seems like it takes him forever but he's at Jared's side. Looking wild eyed and disheveled. “Jared. Jared. Jared,” he repeats like a prayer, running his hands through his hair and down his face. “Are you okay?' 

Jared looks up through hazy eyes. “I should be, don't know about my knee though.”

“Where's your cell?,” Jensen asked, patting his body and finally his pockets where he retrieves the techno. “My water broke. I'm having contractions, and your hurt. This is nuts.” . 

Jared swallows, feeling kinda woozy. “I figured. I won't be there for the birth.”

“I don't care as long as you're okay,” Jensen whispers, kissing his bloody cheek as he starts dialing 911. “ Come on, come on... Hello? I need help. Someone broke in my friend's house. They tied me up and shot my friend. I'm also in labor.” 

Jensen hisses and moans, closing his eyes as a hand presses to his stomach. “Don't come yet, Jamie. Take your time for daddy,” he pleads loud enough for Jared to hear. “Oh, sorry. Jensen Ackles, ma'am. Address? 422 Oakland Avenue. Please hurry, he's losing a lot of blood and the attacker is still passed out on the floor.” 

Jensen closes the phone and breathes heavily. “Okay, they'll be here in a few minutes.”

“I want to be there,” Jared says quietly. 

“You don't worry about that, you just worry about getting better. We'll be there when you're done,” Jensen says, picking up his hand and kissing his knuckles. 

Jared sighs and nods. He's disappointed but Jensen is okay, and so is the baby. That's all he can ask for. In the distance he can hear sirens, relief washes through him and he smiles at Jensen shakily as the boy breathes through another set of contractions. He'll see Jamie soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I feel like everything sucked this chapter. The sex scenes, the fight scene. Hopefully it was okay. D:


	7. Chapter 7

Pain roves up and down his spine, through his pelvis and he cries out, holding onto his mother's hand. He knew he said Jared should worry about himself but he wants him here so much, he wants him here more than Chris who is on the other side of the bed in hospital scrubs. 

“You're doing good, Jen,” Donna tells him, smoothing a hand over his sweaty head. 

“I want Jared,” he moans, tears springing to his eyes as he feels another wave of pain rip through him. The doctor is at the end of the bed, his legs are clear up in the air, completely elevated in order to get to his opening. It's open enough for his daughter to come out and he just wants her here now. He knew it would be terrible, but this is terrifying, he feels like he's in his death throes. 

“He's in surgery, honey. You'll see him soon,” Donna says gently, as she squeezes his hand and Jensen squeezes back, maybe a little too hard. 

“Hey, I'm here,” Chris said, sounding offended. 

“I know, but you're not Jared!,” Jensen yells, suddenly feeling bad for being so mean. 

“Don't be such an asshole!” Chris yells back. 

“Don't stress him,” the doctor tells Chris firmly. Glaring.

“Whatever,” Chris mumbles. 

“Okay, you need to push,” Dr. Kodawaki says, lifting the blanket higher, over Jensen's knees. 

And Jensen can feel her, pushing down, ready to come out but he wants to tell her go back and give him more time to prepare. He isn't ready to push a baby through him, no fucking way in hell. But she's coming and she's not stopping, and he starts pushing. It feels mildly like he's trying to take a shit but a whole lot like he's pushing a ball of razors out his ass. Even though that's not where she's coming from. He feels warm liquid gush out of him, it's kinda gross and he can hear Chris puking at somewhere up front where he's watching the birth.

“She's crowning, hon,” a nurse says, smiling at him. 

“You're doing so good, baby. I'm proud of you,” Donna tells him, beaming. 

Jensen doesn't get what she's so happy about, she's not the one pushing a watermelon out of herself. He's fucking miserable is what he is. “If I was doing good, she'd already be out of me,” Jensen cries as he pushes again, feeling her slip further and further out.

“A couple more and she should be here,” Dr. Kodawaki says, and he's even smiling and it kinda pisses Jensen off. 

Jensen keeps pushing, feeling her slip and finally she pops free from inside him and a wail fills the room. He slinks back against the bed, relief flooding him at the sound of his child's voice. The pain subsides but the ache and everything else is still there.

“Jensen?,” Dr. Kodawaki says as he holds Jamie in his arms. 

“Something wrong?,” Jensen asks, feeling so damn tired but fear grips him. More so than when he was tied up. 

“Nothing really, son. Just that you have a little boy instead of a girl,” Dr. Kodawaki says, amusement coloring his voice. 

“A little boy?,” Jensen breathes, part of him doesn't believe it since he had grown so used to the idea of having a daughter but a little boy isn't a bad thing at all. His has a son. His son. He starts crying. 

“Yes, a boy. We're going to go get him him and you cleaned up then you can see him,” Dr. Kodawaki tells him as he hands the baby off to a nurse. 

“You did so good and look at that, I've got a grandson. Bet Josh will be excited to have a nephew,” Donna says as she smooths back his hair and kisses his forehead. 

“Well, a baby girl would have been just as awesome but having a boy is fucking stellar, son,” Chris pipes up from the side. He looks a little green around the edges, like he might puke again. Serves him right for not understanding his need to have Jared here.

Jensen hums, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “Why don't you two go get something to eat while they clean and stitch me up?” 

“Okay, sweetie. I'll go call the neighbor's to see how Mack is doing and check on Jared too. I'll come back with a full report,” Donna tells him patting him on the arm affectionately. “Let's go Chris.”

“But I want to be here when they bring him back,” Chris whines. 

“So, you come back sooner than me. Let Jensen rest, he's been ripped opened and pulled apart, probably wants a nap,” Donna tells him, giving him a pointed look and Chris sighs, following her out of the room. 

Jensen is soon cared for and he sleeps for all of twenty minutes before he's being tapped awake. He looks to the side, eyes kinda blurry but he sees a nurse holding his daughter. No, correction, son. “Thank you,” Jensen says, eyes wide as he can't look away from him.

“You're welcome. Open your arms and cradle his head,” the nurse advises as she places him in his arms. 

“You going to breastfeed or bottle feed, dear?,” The nurse asks, smiling at him.

“Bottles,” Jensen tells her, as he connects eyes with his baby. Looking at him but not really, but he still feels the pull, the connection. 

“I'll be right back with some formula,” the nurse tells him as she leaves the room.

“What do I call you now?,” Jensen asks, smiling softly. “Would calling you Jamie be bad? It's still a boy's name right? Do you like Jamie?” 

Little hands extend and move through the air, getting used to being in oxygen and air. He makes little noises, and Jensen sniffs, wanting to cry again. 

“Jamie sounds good? We'll go with Jamie. How about Jamie Jay? I hear that's Uncle Jared's nickname, I think he'd like that. He saved our lives today,” Jensen says, wanting to share this moment with Jared. 

He reaches out with his index finger and slides it down Jamie's baby soft face, marveling at how tiny and beautiful he is. He definitely has Chris' nose, Jensen's mouth and it'll be a minute before they see the color of his eyes but he kinda hopes he has his. “You'll see your papa and Uncle Jared soon. Papa went to go rest up a bit and Uncle Jared is in surgery. He's a very brave man. You're going to love him lots because he already loves you. Wouldn't let daddy have sex until he knew you were safe.”

“Should you be saying that in front of him?,” Chris asks with a laugh, appearing at the door. 

“He'll never know and I won't tell him about his dad doing the deed when he's older either, he'll probably be mortified as I was when I learned my parents did,” Jensen says, smirking a little but never taking his eyes off Jamie's precious face. 

“Same here. I don't even like thinking of my parents kissing, let alone what they do under the sheets,” Chris says, coming to stand beside the bed. “Can I hold him?” 

“Of course, you can,” Jensen says with a smile, finally looking at him. “Okay, you gotta cradle his head with your arm or your hand.” He carefully hands Jamie over to Chris, hardly being able to breathe as he's afraid Chris will drop him but he tries to calm down and tell himself it's going to be fine.

Chris takes him in his arms and he smiles so wide, Jensen can't help thinking beautiful looks good on Chris. “Hey baby. I'm your pops, we're going to grow up together. Sound cool? I'll teach you all sorts of amazing things. Music is number one though. No son of mine won't go through life without learning how to strum a guitar.”

Jensen laughs. “He's still being called Jamie. Just Jamie Jay instead.”

“Jamie Jay Ackles? Sounds like a movie star's name. Bet he gets his name on the big screen,” Chris says, looking fondly at his son. 

“Yeah, bet he'll be a legend,” Jensen says, amused. Watching his son and bestfriend with love in his heart.

\-------------------

Jared has been doing nothing but sleeping for the past two days. His thoughts have centered on what happened, Jensen and the baby, and what he's going to do with his writing career. At first he started thinking he should stop writing altogether if this crazy shit is going to happen to him all the time but instead of getting scared and depressed, he got angry, pissed off and determined to stay in the game. He has a right to be doing this stuff, it's his dream. His ambition. What he wants to do with his life and people be damned if they don't like it or they want to somehow worm their way into his life and be a part of it forcefully. He shouldn't have to be scared. That when he decided he'd do something else about it. Stop hiding. Simple as that.

And then he couldn't stop thinking about Jensen and Jamie. Donna had visited him twice, telling him all about the baby, that he had been a boy instead and Jensen had given his nickname as a middle name. It touched him so much, that the pain in his knee hadn't even mattered all that much, it was a thing of the past already. He got a call from his mom and dad after he told Jeff what happened. They were worried, he guesses it takes two life or death situations to set a family straight and want to fix the broken pieces. He told them all about his life, his new friends and family. He didn't tell them about his relationship to Jensen, he isn't stupid but he said Jensen really brought up his spirits and made him feel better in a time where he wasn't feeling very good. They're coming to see him in a few weeks. 

There's a knock at the door, breaking him from his thoughts. “Jared? You have a visitor.” The nurse, Tiffany, peeks her head in with a smile.

“Bring them on in,” Jared says, sitting up on the bed. 

He's surprised to see Jensen being wheeled in by Donna. Jamie in his arms and a bottle in his hand. Jensen smiles at him and Jared smiles back. He didn't know how much he really needed to see him until now. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jensen says back, as Donna pushes him beside the bed. 

“Should I leave you two alone?,” Donna asks, looking hesitant. 

“No, can't stay long. Jamie has to go back to the nursery and I want Jared to hold him,” Jensen tells her. “Give Jamie to him and the bottle.” 

Donna does as she's asked and suddenly Jared has an arm full of baby. He feels fragile in his arms and he does everything to make sure he's comfortable, that he doesn't break him somehow. “Jamie,” he breathes, running a knuckle down his little face. He takes the bottle and presses the nipple to his lips, he begins to suck and Jared smiles fondly down at him. 

“So, what do you think? I make pretty babies?,” Jensen asks, grinning.

'He's beautiful, Jen,” Jared tells him sincerely. Jamie keeps looking up at him, his little eyes seem to be trying to see him. Doesn't matter, because Jared's looking enough for the both of them. 

“I'm going to go sit outside, call me when you need me,” Donna tells them as she begins to leave.

“No, mom,” Jensen calls after her.

“I'll be right outside. It'll be fine,” Donna chides, going out. 

“Was the labor difficult?,” Jared asks, feeling the weight and warmth of such a small person in his arms. 

“It sucked so much, man. I felt like I don't even know how to describe it but I don't want to go through it again for awhile, so don't expect babies when I'm out of school,” Jensen says, hands folded in his lap.

Jared laughs. “We'll wait until you're like twenty five.”

“Maybe twenty, before you get too old and can't enjoy fatherhood,” Jensen says softly. 

“I'll be enjoying fatherhood now,” Jared tells him, looking up with a lopsided smile. 

Jensen just looks at him, then smiles slowly. “Twenty five then.” 

“Twenty five,” Jared says with a nod, as the bottle slips down a little, and Jamie makes a noise. He pushes it back up. “I'm sorry, Jam Jam. Didn't mean to keep you from your grub.”

“Jam Jam?,” Jensen asks with a chuckle. 

“I give nicknames and I have proclaimed this little budding flower, Jam Jam or Jammy, something like that,” Jared says with a laugh. 

“He'll want to maim you when you're older for that,” Jensen says, shaking his head. 

“Oh, but my love will make him feel guilty for even wanting to,” Jared replies. 

“You feeling okay after what happened?,” Jensen asks, voice soft and hesitant. 

“Yeah, I feel... better than I had the first time. I don't...I don't want to hide. I don't want to live in fear,” Jared answers honestly, rocking Jamie a little, back and forth. “Infact, I was thinking you could take my picture for the back of the book before they print it. So I can put a little blurb about myself and people can see who I am.”

“You sure about that?,” Jensen questions, pursing his lips.

“I'm positive. I won't mention what state I live in or anything but I'd much rather just be out there, you know?,” Jared tells him, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Okay, if you're fine with it. I'll do it,” Jensen says with a soft smile. 

“Thanks.” Jared kisses the top of Jamie's forehead and thanks god that he managed to save their lives so he could live. He doesn't want to imagine for even a moment, what it would have been like if something had happened to this baby. He doesn't want to think of Jensen's sadness, or how empty it would have felt. He wants to think about the now.

\--------------------

Jensen heaves a breath as he walks home from school, his feet kinda ache and his back hurts but it feels better than some other days. Probably because it isn't as cold as it has been the last couple days. He doesn't go straight to his house, he walks up Jared's walkway and heads for the door, opening it and going inside.

“That's good, Jam Jam. You're so smart,” Jared says from somewhere in the house. Likely the living room. 

The sounds of something hitting against something, and excited giggles, makes him smile. 

It's been eleven months since the shit that went down in Jared's rec room. There was a long trial that they both had to attend to put Willard behind bars. He'll be there for a long time since he was also an accomplice to Mavis' doings as well. Jensen had to go to therapy a few times but honestly? He's okay, he's not scared or having nightmares unlike Jared. Who sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and clings to Jensen like a life line. Jared takes as much a part in Jamie's life as Jensen does. He feeds, changes, and plays with him and a lot of times takes care of him while Jensen is at school. Like now.

He walks into the living room and sees Jared on the floor, with Jamie. Playing with block shapes and putting them into their respective slots. “I'm hoooooome. How's my big boy doing?” 

“He's doing well. He managed to get two shapes into their right places. Kid is smart as a whip,” Jared tells him as Jamie keeps banging blocks against the plastic object. 

Jamie's blonde hair falls underneath his ears, slightly into his eyes and he has green eyes like Jensen. They're much greener though, bigger, brighter. He looks up at Jensen. “Da,” he cries, dropping a star shaped block and reaching out his arms.

“That's right, daddy,” Jensen says as he moves forward and picks him up, placing him on his hip. His aching back doesn't matter anymore, long as he has his son in his arms. “Have you been a good boy for Jay?” 

Jamie sticks out his tongue, then smashes his lips and nods. “Good.” 

“He never gives me any trouble. He loves me,” Jared says as he stands up. 

Jensen leans up and kisses Jared on the lips. “Thanks for watching him.”

“You tell me that everyday, and you don't need to. I don't mind but you're welcome,” Jared tells him, grinning sunnily. 

Jensen spins Jamie around for a moment, his little arms reaching out as he giggles. Jensen smiles. “Is he fed? All that good stuff?”

“Changed, but he wouldn't take a nap, wouldn't eat at lunch time, refused to. Maybe you could get him to eat?,” Jared suggests as he starts moving to the kitchen.

“Oh, he never gives you trouble huh?,” Jensen says with a huff. 

“He was good otherwise?,” Jared says with, trying to look innocent. 

“You hungry, Jamie?,” Jensen asks, pressing his forehead to his son's. Eyes locked on each other.

“Ya,” Jamie says patting his stomach. “Yum.” 

“Then let's go feed you,” Jensen says as he follows Jared into the kitchen. Who limps along the way. He gets Jamie set up in the highchair, by the nook and Jared heats up his spaghettios from earlier. 

Jensen with sudden clarity realizes how lucky he is. How much he has going for him and how much his life means, more than anyway it has before. He looks at Jared as he spoons food into Jamie's waiting mouth. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Jared says, smiling as he drinks from a cup of coffee. “unless you meant Jamie.”

“Oh, I meant you but I love Jamie Boo too,” Jensen says with a laugh. “I was just thinking how amazing my life is. How I got you, Jamie and everyone else in it. How lucky I am. How fulfilling it is. I'm so blessed.” 

Jared humms. “We're blessed to have you too, Jen.” 

“I'm glad you feel that way,” Jensen says as he spoons another bout of food for Jamie. 

“I'm going to go lay down, maybe take a nap myself. Get Jamie to sleep and come see me,” Jared says, as he runs his hand through Jensen's hair and disappears. 

Jensen nods. Jamie finishes up most of his food, burping loud and proud as he laughs. Jensen laughs with him. He manages to get him to lay down in the playpen in the living room and go to sleep. 

The next thing he knows, he's heading up the stairs and jumping into bed with Jared. He bounces a few times, and lays a smack on Jared's cheek. “You're not sleeping are you?”

“Trying to,” Jared mumbles, turning to face him. 

“I'll let you sleep,” Jensen whispers, smiling.

“I can stay up for a few minutes. I'd ask you to sleep with me but we can't keep Jamie downstairs by himself,” Jared says, frowning a little.

“Yeah, but we can make out till you're ready to sleep?,” Jensen asks, giving puppy dog eyes.

“Why yes we can, Mr. Ackles,” Jared says, capturing his lips in a kiss.

Jensen loses himself to the kiss, feeling everything in it that means home, love, and even a little bit of worship. He has everything he wants and he couldn't ask for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, less chapters than I was expecting. Also I wasn't sure how to end this because I fail at endings. Hopefully you enjoyed! I had fun writing it.


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